Llama Drama

To my son Tommy,

I have a bunch of alerts set up for when things are happening in the world and the internet knows about it. In this ever connected world, I know things fast. So when my phone started blowing up this afternoon, I expected it to be a drastic change in the weather forecast. Much to my surprise, it was my trending alert for my Baltimore twitterverse. Everyone was posting about llamas.

Yep, the world took a quick break and was enthralled by llamas, specifically two llamas that got loose in Arizona. For a moment, people forgot about their lives and just watched the entertaining chase. Some were rooting for the underdogs, or under-llamas as the case may be, in the same way we hold Robin Hood as a hero. Some were pointing out the color difference between the two llamas and portraying real life race problems, purely in non offensive jest, on these hairy scofflaws because sometimes even the most serious issues need a laugh. Some fretted on how it would all end, especially here in Baltimore where we had a couple bulls get loose about a year ago and it didn't end too well for them. Jokes were made, memes were made, and for a brief moment "Thellma and Llouise" (as one twitter user quipped) carried all our hopes and dreams and our greatest traits and our worst flaws. Then they got caught. And all us twitter users went back to work. We expect another lull in production tomorrow when the people who just don't understand Twitter catch up.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Thinking Of You

To my son Tommy,

Today I accompanied your Grandpa Leo down to Hopkins for some follow up stuff. I am currently waiting for him to finish an MRI. The picture I posted is from the historical display case in the waiting room. It really doesn't have anything to do with this post, as I just thought it funny. I didn't see the word "gonad" and think of you.

But after my medical history diversion, I was left with my thoughts. It occurred to me, you are always on my mind. Your mom is always on my mind too. It seems all my family and friends are constantly on my mind, even when they are not in the forefront of my mind, but you and your mom are always in the forefront. 

It also occurs to me I don't tell you or your mom enough how much I am thinking of you guys. Even with everything going on, with your grandpa and grandma and great grandparents and all things, my thoughts and concerns and prayers always include you. I try to let you guys know through the little things I do (a special meal, and great big hug, what have you) in sort of a "more than words" type fashion (to quote some sappy 90s ballad lyrics) but sometimes it is just easier and best to just say it.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Stomach Bug

To my son Tommy,

You have learned a very valuable lesson over the last couple days. That lesson of course is "Don't trust a fart when you have a stomach bug!" Life has been miserable for you as of late, between your diarrhea and even some vomiting, a bug which seems to be making its way around the area. After a couple initial accidents, you spent a good amount of time on the pot. You would mope around on the couch, generally feeling miserable, then get this surprised look on your face and start saying "Diarrhea Emergency!" as you ran in penguin fashion to the bathroom. It seemed never ending, and though not pleasant by any means, we at least had that plan of action down pat. Then came the vomiting.

Yesterday morning, before I took you to your Bwama's house, you looked at me and started crying. I figured it was gas or bowel pain. I was wrong. It was stomach pain and not going to make it through the intestines and was going to take the path of least resistance. You looked me straight in the eye and did your best impersonation of Mt. Vesuvius. You had only had some water for breakfast and all that came out. Luckily, my old ratty sneakers were right there on the floor in front of you and caught the majority of spew. I had been meaning to get rid of those sneakers anyhow. That was the last event of the symptoms and as of today you have led a symptom free life for about 24 hours. I am crossing my fingers that you are through this little personal hell.

In news on other fronts, your Grandpa Leo is doing much better. The seizures have stopped for the most part and he is on some new medicines to make sure they don't come back. One of the funniest medicines is his emergency seizure medicine. When we took him to the emergency room for the seizure, they filled him with ativan to break the shakes. I figured if we had a dose of that at his house, we could start breaking the seizure faster on the way to the emergency room, so when he was release I asked. Maybe the doctors thought I was trying to score some of this drug, but they told me that they can't do that because you aren't supposed to give a seizing patient anything orally. Made sense. Instead they gave him one emergency rectal valium. Yep you read that correctly, rectal. I laughed, because what they were telling me is if your grandpa starts shaking bad enough, I basically have to tackle him and shove this up his butt. I pictured us needing not only medical gloves but duct tape as well for this procedure. The old joke of "Rectum hell, damn near killed him." keeps coming to mind.

Your Grandma Roro is still having normal problems, well normal for her. Your mom is off of school today and going to take her to the doctor. Your Nana Jeanne is still recovering, albeit slowly and poorly, from her recent bowel resection and lumpectomy. Soon she is being transferred to a closer hospital to continue her rehab. Your Great Grandpa Leo is being moved into a care facility this Friday. They say they don't want this to be permanent, and your Grandpa Leo really wants your Great Grandpa to die at home among his family members, but they need to do this while everyone is recovering. We will see how temporary this is. Your Great Uncle Kevin is stretched thin and I think will welcome the break of not having to monitor your Great Grandpa 24-7.

On a good note, your PopPop was thinking about getting a part time job, and since your Grandpa Leo needs someone to get things done to his house (drywall repair, flooring replacement for the basement, perhaps some cabinets hung, etc) and PopPop knows how to do these things, I suggested that they get together. Your Grandpa Leo and your PopPop loved the idea. Even if PopPop just acts the foreman and they hire some guys to do the work, he will make sure things get done and get done properly. Plus maybe he can take the metal detector to the attic and find your Grandpa Leo's samurai sword he threw up there that fell in the insulation.

On the old home front, your mom is finishing up her last semester of her nursing RN degree and none too soon I might add. She is about done with the schooling and now is the time to just buckle down and finish things up. Me, I am still busy as crap with work and trying to help out on all the other fronts where I can help. Barely a moment of my time goes by unaccounted for, yet I feel like I am accomplishing nothing. Life has become a real juggling act and I thank God that I have your mom to help me through it. That is another life lesson. So let us sum up. Marry a good woman who will help you through; if you have to vomit, find a bucket instead of a shoe; and don't trust a fart. Yep. That about covers it.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Struggle

To my son Tommy,

It occurs to me that struggle ends in just two ways and most often ends with loss, sorrow, and grief. I know so many that struggled with the health of loved ones and though their life may be easier now in their daily rigamarole, they would give anything for one more day of struggle. Perhaps that is just selfish insight from a guy whose role is more that of a supporting actor and not the leading star in whatever health documentary reality tv show we are living. For the star, struggle just ends. So when people ask how you can handle such stress and such difficulties, tell them you are blessed and you welcome the struggles of life, because the most likely alternative plain out sucks.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Waiting

To my son Tommy,

In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya, "I hate waiting". Those words keep coming to mind right now, half past the middle of the night, as we wait for the transport team to transfer your Grandpa Leo from NorthWest ER to a room down in Johns Hopkins. He came in early because he had a seizure due to his brain cancer. He has stopped shaking and is starting to regain his speaking ability, which I am not sure is a good thing because with every stupid lead alarm that goes off he asks for his gun to stop the noise. He is still in and out of it when he wakes, but luckily is happily snoring away right now. He can use the rest. I am not sure but I think we are in for more of these seizure type episodes with this brain cancer. When he does wake, true to his nature, his first concern is with your Grandma Roro and your Great Grandpa Leo and your Nana Jeanne. Even at a time that he could focus on himself, he won't unless I make him.

Sadly to say, I think your Great Grandpa Leo is doing the best out of the group, and that isn't saying much. He ain't doing great by any stretch of the means but his condition is expected and less urgent than the others. Your Grandma Roro has been throwin up all day, a condition that lead her into GBMC emergency room with severe dehydration the last time it happened. I think I will have her make a doctor appointment for tomorrow, if I can figure out the logistics of getting her there. Your Nana Jeanne just had the surgery for her lumpectomy which they took most of the breast and her bowel resection. Her drain is showing some type of infection with green stuff draining. They finally found a leak today and are talking about a colostomy bag at least in the temporary to bypass the section so it can heal. She is in a bunch of pain, contact isolation, has been hardly eating, and to top it off I think I heard something about a urinary tract infection. So if you compare to your Grandpa Leo or Roro or Nana Jeanne, your Great Grandpa Leo, with your Great Uncle Kevin taking care of him, seems like he is on easy street.

Your mom pointed out something funny (funny odd not funny haha like a clown for your amusement). She pointed out that the last time she had clinicals for nursing school, she had them at St Agnes and the night before her first day there was spent in the ER for you and your ambulance trip. Tomorrow she has her first day of clinicals in this new semester, here at NorthWest hospital, and once again she spent the night before at the ER of the same hospital. Thank goodness this is her last clinical training. She had already spread herself thin between studying for exams and taking care of you and she spent the night up with Nana Jeanne before tonight's shenanigans.

Prayers are need for all my family, not only those sick but those of us trying to care for them the best we can and all those people supporting us as well. We can use all the karma, prayers, and good vibes we can. Right now, I would settle for some luck and a speedy transfer/transport team. Did I mention I hate waiting?

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Helping Hands

To my son Tommy,

School was delayed for two hours today. A rain had mixed with cold weather and made an ice rink out of most any stone, concrete, or asphalt surface. By the time we went to school, the sidewalks were still slick and the car was iced over but the asphalt roads had been treated and were just wet. Still the same, I demanded that you and Daniel hold hands on the way in to school. At first you guys balked, but I was steadfast and explained that we are here to give each other a helping hand so we don't slip. If ever there was a metaphor for our job on this earth, that certainly is in the top five.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Contrary

To my son Tommy,

You were busy singing a song covered in the movie Muppets Most Wanted

Me: "I think the lyrics are 'Workin' in a coal mine' and then it is either 'Goin down down down' or 'Whoops, about to slip down' but not sure if the Muppets stayed true to the original Lee Dorsey song.

You: "No it is not." said quite emphatically

Me: "You know, you can be quite contrary from time to time"

You: "No I am not!" also said quite emphatically

Me: **le sigh**

I think you get this stubborn side from both family genetics, be it your Grandma Roro or your Poppop. Your ability to be right even when you are wrong is most infuriating. Don't worry I have the same problem. Luckily, I figured out a way around my own hubris. Just always be right in the first place then I will never be right even though I am wrong. I kid, I kid. Approach every correction and criticism with a large amount of humility and an open mind.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Groundhog Day

To my son Tommy,

There is movie called Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray, that I consider a very quotable classic, albeit a bit of a cult classic. The character Phil Connors keeps reliving the same day, over and over, until he gets it right. As I sit here with your mom in the family waiting room of surgical recovery, I feel like I am reliving the same thing over and over again.

Sure the people alternate; this time it is Nana Jeanne, instead of your grandpa or great grandpa or even your mom. And sure the location alternates; this time it is Carroll County Hospital instead of Northwest or Johns Hopkins or St Joe's . But all too often I have been a resident of these waiting rooms. It all seems to blend together in what seems to to be a never ending barrage that has been constant for the past year or two. Much like the movie, it can drive you nearly insane, to the point that you are playing chicken on railroad tracks, betting that the train is going to swerve. Too early for flapjacks?

There is a line in the movie, when Bill Murray's character, who finally makes it to the day after Groundhog Day and remarks that something is different, and when asked if it is different good or different bad, responds, "anything different is good". Though I don't think anything different could be good, I do wish for better news than we normally get. Of course right now, I would just settle for Nana Jeanne getting a room, as it has been four hours since she has been out of surgery.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo