Daddy Day Camp

To my son Tommy,

Your mom and your aunts headed back last night.  They wanted to be there in support of your Uncle Raymond who is having crohn's related surgery today.  Our hearts and minds and prayers are with your uncle.  But this does mean we are sans mommies for a day or so and left to our own devices.

Last night we just had cousin movie time on the second floor and then everyone was in for an early bedtime.  Think we were all sacked out by 10:30.  This morning Na and I watched the kids as Uncle Chris set up the beach base camp.  We got the kids fed though I am not sure if your cousin Gabe was pulling my leg saying he was allowed pretzels for breakfast, but Na vouched for him.  Then we got everyone beach ready.  It is moments like remembering everything in the beach bag that I really miss and appreciate mommy.

When we got down to the beach, we bee lined to the water.  You really love the waves.  At one point, I was kneeling down in the sand and waves and you were sitting on my bent knee and pulled my arms around you to make yourself feel safe.  You told me you could stay there forever.  I'll tell you a secret, so could I, well except for the fact that sand and salt in the suit irritate daddy parts.  We made some sand castles (an activity that daddy gets into more than you) and hit the water some more.  Only two applications of suntan lotion but it looks likes you missed out on the burn.

You decided you were done with the beach early and we headed back to the house around one.  The whole process of cleaning a super sandy four year old as well as yourself is yet another time I really missed your mother and appreciated how easy she makes it.  But you are cleaned off and eating some Cheetos for snack as you watch Sesame Street. I am trying to convince you to eat some pasta or some yogurt but you did have a pretty big breakfast.  Time to bribe with rides or walks or ice cream.  Just waiting for the office (yeah I had to work on vacation) to say the monthly financials are closed and they don't need me to remote in to fix anything before heading onto our next adventure.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Like A Fish

To my son Tommy,

When we came down in June, we were pleased to see you had gotten over your aversion to sand.  You would even allow yourself to be buried.  This trip, you completed your beach going repertoire by getting over much of your aversion to the ocean.  In fact you are to the point that if you are down the beach you want to be in the water.  As soon as we get down I hear a "Daddy? Now we can go into the water?"  We wade into the shallows about Tommy-knee deep and wait for the big waves to get over your waist and occasionally a wave sprays up and hits your face.  "Wow that was a big one! It slapped us in the face Daddy!"  When I convince you to go back up and have some sand time, you are on the immediate lookout for another adult to bring you back to the ocean or any sign that I am ready to head back down to the water.  Who would have thought you turned part fish in the past month or two.  You don't trust the waves too far yet and won't let me carry you out deeper, but from your point of view even a two foot wave is over half your body height.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Buried Treasure

To my son Tommy,

It is all in your point of view.  To many it seemed like a four year old haphazardly following his father and his Pop-pop and occasionally digging in the sand when the metal detector beeped.  To you it was a pirate treasure hunt filled with buccaneers and doubloons.  You had the attention span for five coins but to you the sixty six cents was a million bucks.  When you got to put on the headphones and hear the beeps to find your own coin all by yourself, you had the biggest smile and it didn't even dawn on you that you may have already found that coin earlier when daddy was working the detector.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Future Tour Guide

To my son Tommy,

Well we got down here and settled down.  All unpacked and we were able to turn our attentions to the necessities last night.  We hit Angelo's and it was like an old friend welcoming us back.  Later that night we hit the rides and your amusement park bravery has risen, perhaps past your dad's comfort level for letting you ride certain rides.  We hit putt-putt today with Poppop and hit the boardwalk arcade.   We also hit the ice cream shop up the corner.   In fact the only staple of our beach trip that we still need to do is actually hit the beach.  The weather was overcast and I guess that pretty much discouraged us a bit.  Plus we would have had a late start to the day because we went to 10:15 mass.  No matter.  We have plenty of vacation left and many more memories to create and live.  What impressed me most is your capacity to remember every little thing from our past trips.  You remembered landmarks and are already to the point that you could be a tour guide for OCNJ.  I can imagine it now "Yes, those are the helicopter flying goriilas...keep up people...no stragglers...And up on your right we have a talking parrot and an alligator named Albert and another named Chewie...though Chewie might be a croc...and we are almost to Castaway cove."

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Incomplete Vacation Checklist

To my son Tommy,

This might be the only post that will have to be edited with addendum after addendum.  I don't think it will ever be complete but I figured I'd give it a shot.  Here is our vacation check list.  This is in no particular order and by no means comprehensive.


TO DO TASKS

• Mow Lawn - Need to make sure the house looks lived in and since we are not hiring someone to mow in the middle of the vacation.
• Secure backyard
• Oil Change and Car Maintenance  - When you and your mom went to do this at Jiffy Lube, you cried thinking the guy was stealing the car.  But we have to make sure we get down there without
• Notify Neighbors - All told and all looking out for our house.  Keys given out to a couple people to make sure they can access our house.  
• Stop Mail - Along with the stop make sure someone checks out for this as I never trust a bureaucracy 
• Stop Paper - ditto from the stop mail note
• Turn off AC and electronics in our bedroom.
• Turn off AC and electronics in Tommy's bedroom including baby monitors
• Turn off light bathroom
• Dump any old SD cards and clear them for the trip.
• Get donuts and coffee for day of pack and travel (large caffeine boost)
• Trash out - and arrange for pickup or someone to put it out on the corner for you.
• Decide what goes down in your Poppop's truck
• Lights off in basement
• Turn off air purifiers
• Give the living room a once over and straighten so it is nice to come home
• Feed fish (and hope they can last since we didn't make other arrangements but since your mother is coming back for a couple days during the vacation for your Uncle Raymond's surgery we have another feeding)
• Clean out car
• Pack car

TO PACK CLOTHES WISE

• Flip flops
• Belt
• Sneakers
• Socks
• Underwear
• Basic Cltohes
• Bathing Suits
• Church outfit
• Pajamas
• Daddy's hat
• Mommy's Hat
• Tommy's Hat

TO PACK

• CPAP - we once left without this and daddy spent a couple sleepless nights before he could get it.
• Sunglasses clip-ons for mommy
• Sunglasses clip-ons for daddy
• Tommy's sunglasses
• Johnson's PopCorn empty containers - cheaper to refill
• Blow Up Bed for Tommy
• Bed sheets
• Towels
• Pillows
• Little Cooler to Bring to Beach
• Deck of Pinochle Cards
• Rosary

TECH BAGS

• Mommy's School Computer and powercord and mouse
• Daddy's Work Computer and powercord and mouse
• Apple TV and powercord and HDMI connection cable
• Two iPads and two powercords
• Daddy's phone and charger
• Mommy's phone and charger and car charger
• Camera and SD Cards
• DVD's for you (we aren't quite to the all digital world and still cart around CD's and DVD's)
• Tommy's Portable DVD player
• Tommy's ear phones

TOILETRIES AND ETC

• Nail clippers
• Toilet Paper
• Feminine Product
• Lysol Wipes
• Deodorant
• Hair Brush
• Suntan Lotion
• Q-Tips
• Shampoo
• Soap
• Tums
• Body Wash
• Toothbrushs
• Vitamins
• Medicines
• Allergy Medicines
• Bug Spray
• EPIPENS

TOMMY TOYS

• Three stuffed animals - we made the mistake of no stuffed animals before and this "Desperation" the towel lobster was born.  We want to avoid that again. :)
• Tommy's Pillow
• One Barn Lunch Box of squinkies and various characters
• Rubber ducks (about 3 this time)
• Two toy cars to pack your squinkies and characters in
• Various Dress Up Outfits including Doctor and what you call police officer and pirate
• Various Dress Up Accessories including doctor kit, ninja knife, pirate sword, binoculars, monocular spyglass, flashlight..etc

FOOD - We shop the deals the week or two before and bring to save money

• Soda 2 liters
• Snacks
• Tommy's Two Water Bottles
• Cookies to share - your mom made 48 dozen for the house
• Tommy's Basics - pasta, oatmeal, nilla wafers, cheetos, grahams

COOLER PACK

• Yogurts
• Humira

LAST MINUTE

• Drive mommy crazy with this list
• Roll down windows in car so it doesn't heat up when we are waiting for Poppop
• Worry about what we missed
• Get Wallets
• Get Phones
• Last Minute Pack
• TV Off
• Computer Off
• Grab Road snacks and drinks
• Potty
• Downstairs AC to 80
• Pray for an easy and safe trip.
• Remember to bring Tommy!

Well there it is...a basic checklist to use next year.  Your mother is really all you need for a checklist but this will give you am idea of a quarter of the things that go into a vacation.  But it is definitely worth it!

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Value In Past Letters

To my son Tommy,

I am perusing letters I wrote to you last year around this time.  I was able to go through all the vacation posts and realized the value of these letters.  Having a reference, having something to compare, seeing what was new or newsworthy last year, these are invaluable.  I was reminded about you going around and asking people "What is dirt?" and your cousin Ryan calling big waves "Eighteen wides".  I remember the first real time we went to Angelos.  I have picture of you wrestling down your cousin Gabe and was reminded of an unfortunate event with you sitting on your cousin Emma's back sans pants...we didn't get a picture of that thank goodness.  I read about your excitement as you first met the talking parrot and alligators on the boardwalk.  Even things I didn't write about came flooding back like watching Willy Wonka and Uncle Jimmy singing the Golden Ticket song.  I do lament that I thought last year to make a checklist for our vacation and save it somewhere...but I don't think I actually did that.  Oh well.  That would have made things easier but your mother is once again amazing in her ability to plan and think ahead.

Hopefully you will have years and years of these letters to look back on, but some of the most valuable will be from our family vacations.  It will instantly spark memories of boardwalks and beaches, but more importantly it will instantly bring back that feeling of love and family.  I am excited and I know you are too.  We will get haircuts today.  We will wrap up loose ends tonight.  And just like the past couple years...we will leave when we leave with no artificial deadline to make us feel rushed or harried.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Fallacy Of Social Media

To my son Tommy,

As always, many of my letters are inspired by you through Jimmy Buffett lyrics as is today ...

You're caught up in that internet.  You think it's such a great asset, but you're wrong, wrong, wrong. All that fiber optic gear, still cannot take away the fear like an island song. Holiday by Jimmy Buffett

I often find myself caught up in the internet.  Nowadays, even taking a holiday is no guaranteed escape from the internet.  It just creates a tempting chance to break away and enjoy some waves and sand.  Of course in today's age, you bring your nook or your ipad down to the beach with you.  Plus it won't be long before everyone is stealthily connected to the internet by wearing Google glasses.  Often this means you lose contact with those people right next to you.

Some say this isn't true and that you actually have more connections and deeper connections with people.  They point to the fact that they can see what so and so had for lunch and which friend's kid is newly potty trained and who is in a relationship or fresh out of one.  People's entire lives are out there on the internet and many say this proves we are becoming more connected.  But there is a major fallacy in this train of thought.  It assumes people care and bother to engage.

Every person has a different center of their world and for the most part that center is themselves.  Even if the center of their world is shared with politics, or religion, or family, or hobbies, or other interests, or a four year old son...people tend to post about their center.  Frankly, most readers don't care about someone else's center and only a few updates are ever allowed to sink in.  Each time we hit send or post or publish, it is like sending out a bunch of meteors.  For the most part they will zoom by most planets harmlessly unseen and unknown.  Some might give a diversion and light up the sky with a nice meteor show, but that is quite fleeting.  Occasionally one will fall down to a planets surface making a nice ding but leaving the planet for the most part unchanged. Rarely one will hit a planet dead on and change that planet forever.  Yet the original poster thinks everyone is reading their posts and updates and following along with the posters life.  They assume that everything they send out in this universe his hitting everyone else dead on or at least worth a look see like a shooting star.  But we all have our own lives that we have enough trouble following along and keeping up with.  It is luxury to sit and watch for falling stars when there is so much work to be done in our own world.

To be honest this is not just an internet thing but a life thing.  People always want to talk about themselves and very rarely engage in what is important to someone else, which is of course their self.  When this type of exchange happens face to face, we call it narcissism...when it happens on facebook, we call it sharing.  As if that weren't enough, we have our narcissism offended if we meet in person and the other guy has no idea of everything we "shared" about our current life.

So remember, as you engage people, be it in person or on the internet,you are not the center of the world...they are.  Use that to your advantage but do not abuse it.  Actively listen to people.  Ask questions to people so they can tell you about their center.  Don't constantly bring it back to you and your experiences.  And for Pete's sake disconnect from the internet and engage face to face from time to time.

As for the center of your world...change it.  Make your center about love, about family, about serving others, not about yourself and then act accordingly.  And don't decide to post letters to your son everyday of your life as it may be just feeding some narcissistic tape worm.  I really hope I have risen above that and truly am reaching out to you, one of the most important centers of my life.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo