Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Don't Wait For Rock Bottom

To my son Tommy,

Some people say you have to hit rock bottom before things change. Some say you have to just ride the downside of the roller coaster before you can climb to its peaks again. The problem with this is, in life at least, the lowest point is subjective. There is no hard firm rock bottom while you live, as things can always get worse. That last part is worth repeating. THINGS CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE! Especially if you are waiting around for them to get worse before you do anything to make them better!

Take for example my perception of my life the past month or so. I was/am in the middle of a software roll out from Hades. If something could go wrong with this (now) million dollar changeover, it has and continues to. Over budget? Yep. Missed deadlines? Yep. Unfulfilled promises? Yep. etc. etc. And of course with this goes with all the other things in life we are already dealing with. Between medical, and moving, and family, and your school, and check engine lights, and finances, poor contractor work in the basement, and everything else that you can think of, in addition to my workload ...let's just say that most people would say "What could get worse?"

How about a scare of bladder cancer? That would make it worse. Your Poppop Frazier had that happened to him, which in turn happens to us. They found what they thought to be a tumor in the bladder on your Poppop and they were going to have to do a biopsy. Your mom said to me that she has faith that God will just not give us anymore to handle because we already have enough. She in essence believes we are at rock bottom already and that the news will have to turn out alright because how much more can we take. I had my doubts, in God, in rock bottom, in things turning out for the best.

So the pathology comes in. It is negative, which is a good thing, negative for cancer. And a couple things in work seemed to start going alright. Not great, but showing promise. Maybe there is something to this rock bottom thing. Maybe finally God is looking down on this lowly ant in his ant farm and saying enough already. Upswing here I come!

Wrong. Cut to this week. We went live on this software change out. Of course one whole area of the data migration was not done, so at least four departments of my company couldn't do anything. Your Grandpa Leo got his MRI results back and the brain tumor is growing but the doctors tried to explain it away as scar tissue healing in the inside of the tumor from where the laser was aimed at it, but I am not sure if I buy their gooey liquid inside jelly bean concept. Your mom got her MREnterography results and her gastro doctor tells her that the crohn's disease is pretty spread and he has throw his hands in the air and has no idea what to do for her except more surgery. This is has me worried and more importantly your mom worried, frustrated, and depressed. Oh and she has pneumonia with her compromised immune system brought to you by the drugs she is taking for crohns that obviously aren't working. You are under the weather as well and have an ear infection going on and a cough that you have been on for antibiotics. I am working sixteen plus hours a day (holidays and weekends included) to salvage this software roll out from the brink of utter failure as is your Great Aunt who is right there beside me trying to save it.

So we fell through that rock bottom of a few weeks ago like it was a hole in the third floor of a non OSHA approved work site. Now, I can wallow and wait for the other shoe to drop. Wait for life to throw more at me that is in or out of my control. Or I can just keep on keeping on and do something to make today better. If you are falling from the top of a one hundred foot tree and try to grab each branch along the way, you probably will continue falling but may survive the landing. If you are falling from the top of that same tree and grab the first branch and it breaks and you say it isn't worth the effort and decide to just wait till you hit bottom before doing anything about it? Well good luck with surviving that.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

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