Friday, December 25, 2015

Sleep In



To my son Tommy,

What kid sleeps in past 7:30 am on Christmas Day and will probably have to be roused from his dreams of sugar plum fairies? My son!

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leopard 

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Joy and Sorrow



To my son Tommy,

Science often struggles with seemingly contradictory items or states existing at the same time in the same space. In fact, you only have to look at two of the biggest ideas, quantum mechanics and relativity, to see the conundrum presented when they try to reconcile what they know of each to the other.

The heart, however, has no problem existing in two or more states at any one time, even if science or our own brains can't always reconcile this. 

Take the feelings felt during Christmas. We feel joy and that is expected. But amongst the delight and exhilaration of the holidays, we also feel sorrow for the loss of those that have gone before us. Happiness and grief existing in the same heart simultaneously. Each tear that rolled from my eyes was filled with joy and sorrow, hopes and fears, love and pain, and we don't have to overthink it or understand it at all. 

Merry Christmas to all, those with us here and present, and those with us in our hearts forevermore.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Repercussions



To my son Tommy,

I am not sure what Lego Ned Flanders did, but it must have been bad. Poor Ned has to realize there are consequences and repercussions for doing things with bones. It is like a conservative conundrum, the NRA vs the ultra conservative holier than thou Christian. 

The amount of money that I'd spend to stay one day with total uninhibited acces in that imagination of yours would be quite large indeed.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Friday, December 18, 2015

Better With Age



To my son Tommy,

Some people scoff at stuff that is old. They say it is aged and outdated. But here you are, enthralled, watching my old Cloak and Dagger tape on an outdated VHS technology. Story trumps all and even a simple straight forward kids spy plot can captivate a six year old and a forty one year old.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo


Monday, December 14, 2015

Monday Selfie



To my son Tommy,

I am not sure if you can tell by the picture, but you can tell it is a Monday when somehow you put on your button down shirt inside out. Not sure I even have the strength, desire, or will to change it. There will be days like this, my son, oh so many (too many) days like this.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Tree Is Up



To my son Tommy,

The tree is up (much kudos to your mom as always) just in time for the twelve days of Christmas countdown. The train is around the base of the tree and runs without hitch. With the way we chose to set up, we get to decorate all the way around the tree rather than the limitations of a tree stuck in a corner. We still are working I the crèche and scenes and statues.

When moving, there is no act quite so significant that makes a new home feel like YOUR home than setting up a Christmas tree. Even if the rest of your new place is in a state of flux and semi disarray, set up your tree.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo




Saturday, December 5, 2015

Day Off



To my son Tommy,

Taking the day off from work today. After working 88+ hours this week, I need to disconnect. During this long work week I learned that software roll outs suck eggs and I have some amazing coworkers who will work long hours with me to help me and our company right.

Anyway, I slept in to 5:40 today, which is about two hours of sleeping in for me compared to the last three weeks. I tried to sleep till later, but my body has adapted to the early hours now. Anyways I decided to do some chores.

As I was straightening the basement, I came upon this little school project pictured above. It says, "If I were a scarecrow, I would guard some money and guard the crops." Evidently my bank needs more scarecrows to protect money! I would say my wallet needs a pocket scarecrow, but I think I have more crops than money in my wallet. I like the crow the best.

Sincerely with love from dad,
Leo

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Don't Wait For Rock Bottom

To my son Tommy,

Some people say you have to hit rock bottom before things change. Some say you have to just ride the downside of the roller coaster before you can climb to its peaks again. The problem with this is, in life at least, the lowest point is subjective. There is no hard firm rock bottom while you live, as things can always get worse. That last part is worth repeating. THINGS CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE! Especially if you are waiting around for them to get worse before you do anything to make them better!

Take for example my perception of my life the past month or so. I was/am in the middle of a software roll out from Hades. If something could go wrong with this (now) million dollar changeover, it has and continues to. Over budget? Yep. Missed deadlines? Yep. Unfulfilled promises? Yep. etc. etc. And of course with this goes with all the other things in life we are already dealing with. Between medical, and moving, and family, and your school, and check engine lights, and finances, poor contractor work in the basement, and everything else that you can think of, in addition to my workload ...let's just say that most people would say "What could get worse?"

How about a scare of bladder cancer? That would make it worse. Your Poppop Frazier had that happened to him, which in turn happens to us. They found what they thought to be a tumor in the bladder on your Poppop and they were going to have to do a biopsy. Your mom said to me that she has faith that God will just not give us anymore to handle because we already have enough. She in essence believes we are at rock bottom already and that the news will have to turn out alright because how much more can we take. I had my doubts, in God, in rock bottom, in things turning out for the best.

So the pathology comes in. It is negative, which is a good thing, negative for cancer. And a couple things in work seemed to start going alright. Not great, but showing promise. Maybe there is something to this rock bottom thing. Maybe finally God is looking down on this lowly ant in his ant farm and saying enough already. Upswing here I come!

Wrong. Cut to this week. We went live on this software change out. Of course one whole area of the data migration was not done, so at least four departments of my company couldn't do anything. Your Grandpa Leo got his MRI results back and the brain tumor is growing but the doctors tried to explain it away as scar tissue healing in the inside of the tumor from where the laser was aimed at it, but I am not sure if I buy their gooey liquid inside jelly bean concept. Your mom got her MREnterography results and her gastro doctor tells her that the crohn's disease is pretty spread and he has throw his hands in the air and has no idea what to do for her except more surgery. This is has me worried and more importantly your mom worried, frustrated, and depressed. Oh and she has pneumonia with her compromised immune system brought to you by the drugs she is taking for crohns that obviously aren't working. You are under the weather as well and have an ear infection going on and a cough that you have been on for antibiotics. I am working sixteen plus hours a day (holidays and weekends included) to salvage this software roll out from the brink of utter failure as is your Great Aunt who is right there beside me trying to save it.

So we fell through that rock bottom of a few weeks ago like it was a hole in the third floor of a non OSHA approved work site. Now, I can wallow and wait for the other shoe to drop. Wait for life to throw more at me that is in or out of my control. Or I can just keep on keeping on and do something to make today better. If you are falling from the top of a one hundred foot tree and try to grab each branch along the way, you probably will continue falling but may survive the landing. If you are falling from the top of that same tree and grab the first branch and it breaks and you say it isn't worth the effort and decide to just wait till you hit bottom before doing anything about it? Well good luck with surviving that.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo