Contingency Missed

The

To my son Tommy,

We thought we had planned for every contingency and removed every excuse so you would spend your first night in your new room in your new bunk beds.

We armed you to the teeth with a gun and a sword and a flashlight, though you can't see the flashlight in the main picture above. 

We had removed the chest/trunk that was in your room because it perhaps could house an evil dummy of Goosebumps fame. 

We had taken out the ionic air cleaner that made a slight zapping sound when it did its thing. 

We provided a vicious guard dog to protect you.

We put bells on your door handle as an alarm system.

We blocked the double doors to the back basement with your dresser and had your Mother Mary statue strategically placed on the dresser. (You can just see her head peeking out at the bottom of the picture below)

We hooked in a baby monitor (on the left of your desk) and even enlisted the most unlikely of allies (on the floor to the right of your desk) to ensure your safety!

We even thought of changing the halogen bulbs in the ceiling fixtures to LED bulbs so you wouldn't risk burning yourself.

We didn't however consider that just one little tug to change the bulb on the ceiling fixture would bring the whole fixture down. Your exact words were, "I don't think I am sleeping in here tonight, it must be a trap."

Oh well. After you went to bed in our room, yet again, your mom and I rectified the shoddy mounting job of the light fixture. 

Now we have the daunting task of convincing you to give it another chance.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo