To my son Tommy,
A mind can be a terrible thing. Though totally amazing for what it does and can accomplish, it is completely unreliable and easily fooled. I was reminded of that yesterday while listening to NPR. They were discussing false memories.
In some study, people were shown four pictures of what they were told are key events, three of which were real and one was photoshopped with an event that never happened. For examples of the faked memory they have a picture of President Bush relaxing at his ranch with Roger Clemens during Hurricane Katrina and President Obama shaking hands with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. These events never happened. Yet over one third of the people not only remembered when they first saw the fake picture but could tell additional details like where they were or how they felt and a whole story. They in essence believed with their whole heart that they had seen this before. It happened more often if the person differed ideologically from the person in the picture. In other words, Republicans were more apt to believe the Obama picture because they wanted to believe it and Democrats were more apt to believe the Bush picture because they wanted to believe it. But less than two thirds of the people said, they don't remember it happening, which of course is accurate because it didn't happen. I wonder how many said I don't remember but I am not surprised and am now appalled.
In another study that I have seen in the past, people were shown a video and asked to count how many times a ball was passed amongst a group of people. In the video a guy in a gorilla outfit walks right in front of the camera. A good amount of people never saw the gorilla. They would even get combative and tell you that the tape was switched when the tape was replayed to prove to them there was a guy in a gorilla outfit.
Thus I reiterate, a mind can be a terrible thing. It can see things that aren't there, miss obvious things that are there, forget things that happened, and remember things that did not. Now these flaws in the human mind has been known and abused for years by magicians, con-men, poker players, and political propagandist. I show you a picture of an atrocity, no matter how untrue or doctored, and if you are ready to believe it...you will. Then I take you in your emotional state of outrage and fill your mind with more falsehoods and dribble. Social media is capitalizing on this with misquoted quotes and doctored photos and lies and falsehoods to prove everyone's point. And most people are falling for it. And if you point out the gorilla, most people will yell out you no matter how wrong they were. I point this out to you for multiple reasons.
First to warn you not to fall for it. No person, no matter their IQ, nor their education level, nor how strong they think their mind is, is beyond the reach of such mistakes of the mind. You have to stay ever vigilant and ask yourself "How do I know this?" and "Is this true?" and "Is this source credible?". When you do find yourself falling for a propaganda technique, admit your mistake.
Secondly, forgive people who fall for such techniques. If you must point out the "gorilla" or "elephant" in the room, do so gently and back off. Everyone is susceptible to such errors. Those that admit their mistake, and admit they knew it was too good to be true but just wanted to believe it anyways, are truly stand up people and are worth knowing. But even if they don't, don't judge too harshly.
Finally, I bring up this point to encourage you to study and know how all this works. To borrow a line from a Jimmy Buffet song, your father has "read dozens of books about heroes and crooks and learned much from both of their styles". I learned my magic tricks, more than most. I know where to look for misdirection. I read about con-men and their schemes and how things work. I learned how to double deal in poker and how to bluff with the best of them. I know how to influence people falsely. I learned how to convince a bar customer he is getting more liquor for his money with showmanship techniques that use the same amount of liquor. I learned all this so I didn't fall victim and so I could also learn how to do things the right way. If you become a student of human nature and a student of the mind and its limitations, it can help you in all aspects of life, but please only use this for good causes.
I could go on and on about the mind. I could talk about experience versus memory and bring up Daniel Kahneman and other people your dad admires. I could bring in the fact that you think (even if it is think wrongly) is suggested by Rene Descartes as the only real evidence that you exist. I could delve deep into the mind and the altering effects of drugs and alcohol. There is a bunch of different areas that I could go with a conversation about your mind, but the point is protect your mind and question things and think for yourself. A mind can be a terrible thing, but if used properly and to its fullest, it can also be one of the most precious gifts on this earth.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
There's An App For That
To my son Tommy,
I was going to save all my weight talks for Tuesday weigh-ins but today it seems food and calories are all your mother and I can think about. We are both watching and journaling our diet on myfitnesspal.com and just like when we decided to quit smoking, we are jonesing for some food. We have been commiserating together about our diet plans and leaning on each other for support and using each other to vent. The simple fact that your mother and I have teamed up in our efforts multiplied our chance of success tenfold. I have often said that no matter what the task, your mommy and I always do better as a team.
Technically I have over five hundred calories left from my day, mostly due to only having a cup of coffee or two instead of lunch. You would think that is a good thing, but skipping meals is actually detrimental to weight loss. I just get so caught up at work and rarely get in on the lunch order. Plus if I don't bring from home, it can end up costing an arm and a leg.
As for the rest of my diet today it was fairly good. My sodium was high because of some pickled green beans I had at your grandmom Roro's house as a snack. My sugars were high because I have a sweet tooth and because honey nut Cheerios and milk pretty much take care of my sugars for the day, then I add things like blueberries to the cereal and at dinner had some beets as a side and finished off the night with some 1% chocolate milk for desert and I am over the target sugars. That is going to be tough for me to curb but now that this app is logging and journaling it for me, I at least know it is happening and can adjust. That is what much of life is about, seeing the problem, figuring out the details, and adjusting. If I stick to everything, I am destined to lose two pounds a week, or so the app says. Slow and steady wins the race.
I still have to get back to the gym and plan on doing a couple other things. I am thinking lifestyle changes and not just about the pounds. I really hope this works because extra years with you and your mommy are the best gift I can give you guys and give myself.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
I was going to save all my weight talks for Tuesday weigh-ins but today it seems food and calories are all your mother and I can think about. We are both watching and journaling our diet on myfitnesspal.com and just like when we decided to quit smoking, we are jonesing for some food. We have been commiserating together about our diet plans and leaning on each other for support and using each other to vent. The simple fact that your mother and I have teamed up in our efforts multiplied our chance of success tenfold. I have often said that no matter what the task, your mommy and I always do better as a team.
Technically I have over five hundred calories left from my day, mostly due to only having a cup of coffee or two instead of lunch. You would think that is a good thing, but skipping meals is actually detrimental to weight loss. I just get so caught up at work and rarely get in on the lunch order. Plus if I don't bring from home, it can end up costing an arm and a leg.
As for the rest of my diet today it was fairly good. My sodium was high because of some pickled green beans I had at your grandmom Roro's house as a snack. My sugars were high because I have a sweet tooth and because honey nut Cheerios and milk pretty much take care of my sugars for the day, then I add things like blueberries to the cereal and at dinner had some beets as a side and finished off the night with some 1% chocolate milk for desert and I am over the target sugars. That is going to be tough for me to curb but now that this app is logging and journaling it for me, I at least know it is happening and can adjust. That is what much of life is about, seeing the problem, figuring out the details, and adjusting. If I stick to everything, I am destined to lose two pounds a week, or so the app says. Slow and steady wins the race.
I still have to get back to the gym and plan on doing a couple other things. I am thinking lifestyle changes and not just about the pounds. I really hope this works because extra years with you and your mommy are the best gift I can give you guys and give myself.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
It Is What It Is
To my son Tommy,
Tuesday mornings have become my weigh in day. Today's weigh in was the type that makes everyone on "The Biggest Loser" show gasp and shake their head. I jumped on the scale and it said 284.5 which is up about two and a half pounds from last Tuesday. I even jumped on it a couple times hoping that it was just my crappy bathroom scale giving me wrong numbers but each time it said the same. If I followed the expected script from the reality shows, this is the point I break down and cry and tell everyone that I worked so hard and I just don't understand. Bah! It is what it is.
First off, I didn't try really hard. I had made a couple minor adjustments. I don't have all day to work out and worry about my weight. Plus the adjustments I made are adjustments I could live for with life. Now with a small upswing, I need to re-adjust or add to my efforts and my resolve. It is not the dramatic "end of the world kicked out of the house" moment that is made for television. It was just a kick in the pants saying get back to work. I could hear the little voice in my head saying "You made the decision to lose weight, no one is going to hold you accountable except yourself. You can just blog about something else, for at least a year or two before your heart attack. What ya going to do fat boy?". My internal voices sometimes are not very tactful nor nice but usually you can't argue with them. You can't argue with them because they are often correct though harsh. Plus if anyone sees me arguing with my internal voices they would fit me for a straight jacket. The only good thing about that is they probably wouldn't be able to find a straight jacket in my size.
After my disappointing scale session, I quickly examined the week. As I remember, I kept up with breakfast for the most part. There was a day or two I didn't do my little wall push-outs and there was a day or two that I had soda instead of water. And I know there were at least two occasions where I said to myself "So much for watching what you eat". When we watched the Superbowl I definitely indulged and over-indulged on full fat full flavor snacks. I could make excuses for it being the Superbowl or lack of time or this or that but again those are just excuses. Next week I could make excuses for it being Valentines then in March I can make excuses for it being Saint Patrick's etc etc. The excuses and the rationalizations are always there, and as long as I give into them so will the weight be always there.
So now I just have to adjust again. I will find a life adjustment that I can live with and add it to my schedule. I am thinking that getting back to Planet Fitness is going to be the best way to go. Also I think any food I eat around the house will be at the dinner table from now on. I was thinking of doing a food journal with one of the various apps I have used in the past, but I am not sure if that will be a habit I can maintain after I lose fifty pounds or more. It might be more of a short term option rather than a life change. I would prefer not resorting to small temporary fixes but add in the small changes that I can live with forever. Knowing most of our family, on both sides of the X-Y split, tend to be overweight, I hope that when you read this, if you find yourself with a couple extra pounds, you are inspired by my struggles and decide to do something about it. I hope even more that when you read this you aren't in that situation, but the only way that happens is if I give you a good example now.
Sincerely with love from your (overweight but working on it) dad,
Leo
Tuesday mornings have become my weigh in day. Today's weigh in was the type that makes everyone on "The Biggest Loser" show gasp and shake their head. I jumped on the scale and it said 284.5 which is up about two and a half pounds from last Tuesday. I even jumped on it a couple times hoping that it was just my crappy bathroom scale giving me wrong numbers but each time it said the same. If I followed the expected script from the reality shows, this is the point I break down and cry and tell everyone that I worked so hard and I just don't understand. Bah! It is what it is.
First off, I didn't try really hard. I had made a couple minor adjustments. I don't have all day to work out and worry about my weight. Plus the adjustments I made are adjustments I could live for with life. Now with a small upswing, I need to re-adjust or add to my efforts and my resolve. It is not the dramatic "end of the world kicked out of the house" moment that is made for television. It was just a kick in the pants saying get back to work. I could hear the little voice in my head saying "You made the decision to lose weight, no one is going to hold you accountable except yourself. You can just blog about something else, for at least a year or two before your heart attack. What ya going to do fat boy?". My internal voices sometimes are not very tactful nor nice but usually you can't argue with them. You can't argue with them because they are often correct though harsh. Plus if anyone sees me arguing with my internal voices they would fit me for a straight jacket. The only good thing about that is they probably wouldn't be able to find a straight jacket in my size.
After my disappointing scale session, I quickly examined the week. As I remember, I kept up with breakfast for the most part. There was a day or two I didn't do my little wall push-outs and there was a day or two that I had soda instead of water. And I know there were at least two occasions where I said to myself "So much for watching what you eat". When we watched the Superbowl I definitely indulged and over-indulged on full fat full flavor snacks. I could make excuses for it being the Superbowl or lack of time or this or that but again those are just excuses. Next week I could make excuses for it being Valentines then in March I can make excuses for it being Saint Patrick's etc etc. The excuses and the rationalizations are always there, and as long as I give into them so will the weight be always there.
So now I just have to adjust again. I will find a life adjustment that I can live with and add it to my schedule. I am thinking that getting back to Planet Fitness is going to be the best way to go. Also I think any food I eat around the house will be at the dinner table from now on. I was thinking of doing a food journal with one of the various apps I have used in the past, but I am not sure if that will be a habit I can maintain after I lose fifty pounds or more. It might be more of a short term option rather than a life change. I would prefer not resorting to small temporary fixes but add in the small changes that I can live with forever. Knowing most of our family, on both sides of the X-Y split, tend to be overweight, I hope that when you read this, if you find yourself with a couple extra pounds, you are inspired by my struggles and decide to do something about it. I hope even more that when you read this you aren't in that situation, but the only way that happens is if I give you a good example now.
Sincerely with love from your (overweight but working on it) dad,
Leo
Monday, February 4, 2013
Because I Was There
To my son Tommy,
Your mom is out watching your Aunt Debbie at Center Stage tonight. Aunt Debbie was invited to tell a story on stage about parenting and her life and we are all excited for her. Your mother and I were recently discussing and agreed that we work together better as a team, but many times in our life we have to do more of a tag-team approach to taking care of you. Tonight just happens to be one of those tag team nights, so it is just you and me.
I have you fed and have only the basic tasks of bath time and bed time to accomplish. Right now you have conned me into 30 minutes more of Disney Jr before tubby time. As you sat and watched the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, I decided to clean and straighten the living room.
You have way too many toys and way too many of them downstairs instead of up in your room and way too many of them strewn across the floor. I would say it is because of a new schedule, but that would be ignoring the fact that even if we have all the time in the world this is a constant battle. You are starting to get better with cleaning yourself but it takes much prodding.
As I picked up various toys and accessories, I realized very few could do this job without so many questions. I picked up an odd piece of plastic that said "too cute" and where someone else would have no idea, I instantly recognized it as the license plate to this one car you got for Christmas. How do I know for sure? Well because I was there of course. I was there when you unwrapped and I was there when you begged for it to be opened and I was there when we first played with it. I continued cleaning and often chuckled to myself on how without hesitation I knew what so many strange items were and could even recall a story for each.
It dawned on me that so many aspects of my life are better understood because I was there at the beginning. I have worked at my job so long that what is a question for many is second nature to me. I was there when we created the software and of course had a major hand in that and still do. I was there each time the procedure changed and can tell you a story as to why we do it this way now. I do my job better because of all this experience and all this extra understanding and because I was there in the beginning.
Then it occurred to me this is how I understand you so well, because I was there. Maybe I should use "we" here, because this same line of thinking applies to both me and your mother. We are a team. So we understand you because we were there from the beginning. We were there for your first word, your first step, and every little aspect of your life. Even the ones we missed individually, we were still both there in a way. We know every little look on your face, we know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. We know you.
So as you go through life, give credit and respect for experience. Understand that those that were there from the beginning and listened and learned and cared for you, deserve your respect and more. Those that stick by you no matter what and are still by your side to this day and forever more, are those that truly matter. Remember anyone can come in and do the job, but it will be done better and easier by those who truly understand how we got to this point. A maid could come clean our house but there would be no way of knowing that this little figurine on your desk is Noah and really belongs with his ark at you Bwama's house. And though there will be times in your future teenage life where you will feel that your parents don't even know who you are, remember we were there from the beginning and we know you better than you think. Just something to keep in mind as we all grow older and up together.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Your mom is out watching your Aunt Debbie at Center Stage tonight. Aunt Debbie was invited to tell a story on stage about parenting and her life and we are all excited for her. Your mother and I were recently discussing and agreed that we work together better as a team, but many times in our life we have to do more of a tag-team approach to taking care of you. Tonight just happens to be one of those tag team nights, so it is just you and me.
I have you fed and have only the basic tasks of bath time and bed time to accomplish. Right now you have conned me into 30 minutes more of Disney Jr before tubby time. As you sat and watched the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, I decided to clean and straighten the living room.
You have way too many toys and way too many of them downstairs instead of up in your room and way too many of them strewn across the floor. I would say it is because of a new schedule, but that would be ignoring the fact that even if we have all the time in the world this is a constant battle. You are starting to get better with cleaning yourself but it takes much prodding.
As I picked up various toys and accessories, I realized very few could do this job without so many questions. I picked up an odd piece of plastic that said "too cute" and where someone else would have no idea, I instantly recognized it as the license plate to this one car you got for Christmas. How do I know for sure? Well because I was there of course. I was there when you unwrapped and I was there when you begged for it to be opened and I was there when we first played with it. I continued cleaning and often chuckled to myself on how without hesitation I knew what so many strange items were and could even recall a story for each.
It dawned on me that so many aspects of my life are better understood because I was there at the beginning. I have worked at my job so long that what is a question for many is second nature to me. I was there when we created the software and of course had a major hand in that and still do. I was there each time the procedure changed and can tell you a story as to why we do it this way now. I do my job better because of all this experience and all this extra understanding and because I was there in the beginning.
Then it occurred to me this is how I understand you so well, because I was there. Maybe I should use "we" here, because this same line of thinking applies to both me and your mother. We are a team. So we understand you because we were there from the beginning. We were there for your first word, your first step, and every little aspect of your life. Even the ones we missed individually, we were still both there in a way. We know every little look on your face, we know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. We know you.
So as you go through life, give credit and respect for experience. Understand that those that were there from the beginning and listened and learned and cared for you, deserve your respect and more. Those that stick by you no matter what and are still by your side to this day and forever more, are those that truly matter. Remember anyone can come in and do the job, but it will be done better and easier by those who truly understand how we got to this point. A maid could come clean our house but there would be no way of knowing that this little figurine on your desk is Noah and really belongs with his ark at you Bwama's house. And though there will be times in your future teenage life where you will feel that your parents don't even know who you are, remember we were there from the beginning and we know you better than you think. Just something to keep in mind as we all grow older and up together.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Sunday, February 3, 2013
The Greatest Of These
To my son Tommy,
My inspiration comes from so many sources. From cartoons to great works of literature, from movies to radio, from heroes to crooks, from science to religion, from boring chores to extraordinary events, and from all points in between, my muse varies as much as my interest. But my message to you could probably be summed up and boiled down to a few common threads. One of those lessons is how love makes life worth living. Today's inspiration came from the second reading at mass today which comes from the first letter written by Paul to the Corinthians. It always makes me think of your wonderful mother and our commitment to each other but the love spoken of transcends just the love between a man and a woman. It encompasses all love and all love has one true Source. I could expound on these words forever, but sometimes words are so beautiful and ring so true and hold such a special place that they can only be quoted word for word and passed on.
Sincerely with love (that bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things) from your dad,
Leo
My inspiration comes from so many sources. From cartoons to great works of literature, from movies to radio, from heroes to crooks, from science to religion, from boring chores to extraordinary events, and from all points in between, my muse varies as much as my interest. But my message to you could probably be summed up and boiled down to a few common threads. One of those lessons is how love makes life worth living. Today's inspiration came from the second reading at mass today which comes from the first letter written by Paul to the Corinthians. It always makes me think of your wonderful mother and our commitment to each other but the love spoken of transcends just the love between a man and a woman. It encompasses all love and all love has one true Source. I could expound on these words forever, but sometimes words are so beautiful and ring so true and hold such a special place that they can only be quoted word for word and passed on.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Sincerely with love (that bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things) from your dad,
Leo
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Don't Cry Over Spilled Blueberries
To my son Tommy,
"Your son decided to wake up at two A.M. and I am going back to bed" said a frazzled looking mommy as I came down the steps. To compound things I thought it was my day to sleep in so the last hour of me being upstairs was just lying there willing myself to sleep in. I could tell no discussion was warranted and so it has been just you and me this morning.
When you and your dad do mornings, we try to always make your breakfast together. You love pouring in your oatmeal flakes in the bowl. As for the milk and the apple sauce, well that is a bit of give and take. I try to maintain enough control that we don't have a mess while giving you the illusion of doing it yourself. The milk became a bit of a power struggle today and some spilled out on the counter. I quickly said, "Don't cry over spilt milk" laughing that I finally got to say that actually due to milk and at the same time wondering if "spilt" is ok to use as an American or if it is only in the Queen's English that spill has that past tense form. We wiped up the little mess and finished your cereal without incident and plopped you down with a spoon to eat.
I decided to make some breakfast for myself, keeping with my healthy changes. As I poured out my cheerios in a bowl, I decided to spice them up with some added nutrients. I asked your mom to get me some frozen blueberries and a bag of walnuts when she went shopping this week. A quick trip to the basement freezer and my cereal was now adorned with some health minded accessories. I psyched myself up about eating healthy and convinced myself that I was really treating myself and I should have this option more often. I decided to leave the blueberries in the upstairs freezer for convenience. I resealed the resealable bag and threw them in.
If you ever heard a thousand marbles or dried beans or rice grains spilling out a bag, you would not be far off from the sound I heard immediately following my decision to keep the blueberries upstairs. Evidently I didn't take the time to insure the seal on the resealable bag was in fact sealed properly. What made it worse was the way I had put it in the freezer, I had to grab it almost in the middle and thus spill out more blueberries to make it stop.
I sat there discouraged and pissed as I looked at all the blueberries on the floor and spread through the various nooks and crannies of the freezer inventory. I actually felt like crying. Then I thought of what I would like you to do in this type of situation. I thus started to clean up the frozen balls from the floor and get what I could out from the freezer. I will wait for your mommy to wake up before I empty the freezer and make sure I got all the renegade berries from the freezer and then pull the whole unit out from the wall and clean underneath where there are bound to be another 20 rebel fruits hanging out plotting the resistance.
This little incident is full of teachable moments and ironies and such. We could focus in on the karma or foreshadowing from laughing about the spilled milk. We could expound for ages on how it is so much easier to make sure the job, in this case sealing the resealable bag, is done properly the first time. I'd like to circle around on the lesson that what is done is done and the only thing to do after a mistake like this is to get down on your knees and clean it up. I do not want to focus in on your bumbling father and his ineptitude but it makes me chuckle even now on the irony of spilling the blueberries. Soon, after your mommy awakes and your dad summons enough testicular fortitude to mention his mistake, we could also teach how it is okay to ask for help and your mommy can be a savior when it comes to cleaning out freezers and finding and eliminating messes. Next week, when we find a stray blueberry somewhere, we can focus in on how a simple mistake can sometimes have lasting effects.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
"Your son decided to wake up at two A.M. and I am going back to bed" said a frazzled looking mommy as I came down the steps. To compound things I thought it was my day to sleep in so the last hour of me being upstairs was just lying there willing myself to sleep in. I could tell no discussion was warranted and so it has been just you and me this morning.
When you and your dad do mornings, we try to always make your breakfast together. You love pouring in your oatmeal flakes in the bowl. As for the milk and the apple sauce, well that is a bit of give and take. I try to maintain enough control that we don't have a mess while giving you the illusion of doing it yourself. The milk became a bit of a power struggle today and some spilled out on the counter. I quickly said, "Don't cry over spilt milk" laughing that I finally got to say that actually due to milk and at the same time wondering if "spilt" is ok to use as an American or if it is only in the Queen's English that spill has that past tense form. We wiped up the little mess and finished your cereal without incident and plopped you down with a spoon to eat.
I decided to make some breakfast for myself, keeping with my healthy changes. As I poured out my cheerios in a bowl, I decided to spice them up with some added nutrients. I asked your mom to get me some frozen blueberries and a bag of walnuts when she went shopping this week. A quick trip to the basement freezer and my cereal was now adorned with some health minded accessories. I psyched myself up about eating healthy and convinced myself that I was really treating myself and I should have this option more often. I decided to leave the blueberries in the upstairs freezer for convenience. I resealed the resealable bag and threw them in.
If you ever heard a thousand marbles or dried beans or rice grains spilling out a bag, you would not be far off from the sound I heard immediately following my decision to keep the blueberries upstairs. Evidently I didn't take the time to insure the seal on the resealable bag was in fact sealed properly. What made it worse was the way I had put it in the freezer, I had to grab it almost in the middle and thus spill out more blueberries to make it stop.
I sat there discouraged and pissed as I looked at all the blueberries on the floor and spread through the various nooks and crannies of the freezer inventory. I actually felt like crying. Then I thought of what I would like you to do in this type of situation. I thus started to clean up the frozen balls from the floor and get what I could out from the freezer. I will wait for your mommy to wake up before I empty the freezer and make sure I got all the renegade berries from the freezer and then pull the whole unit out from the wall and clean underneath where there are bound to be another 20 rebel fruits hanging out plotting the resistance.
This little incident is full of teachable moments and ironies and such. We could focus in on the karma or foreshadowing from laughing about the spilled milk. We could expound for ages on how it is so much easier to make sure the job, in this case sealing the resealable bag, is done properly the first time. I'd like to circle around on the lesson that what is done is done and the only thing to do after a mistake like this is to get down on your knees and clean it up. I do not want to focus in on your bumbling father and his ineptitude but it makes me chuckle even now on the irony of spilling the blueberries. Soon, after your mommy awakes and your dad summons enough testicular fortitude to mention his mistake, we could also teach how it is okay to ask for help and your mommy can be a savior when it comes to cleaning out freezers and finding and eliminating messes. Next week, when we find a stray blueberry somewhere, we can focus in on how a simple mistake can sometimes have lasting effects.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Friday, February 1, 2013
Were, Are, Will Be
To my son Tommy,
There is a symbiotic relationship between who you were, who you are, and who you will be. Some connections in this relationship are easy to understand. Most people understand how "who we were" effected "who we are" and how both those can have a profound effect on "who we will be". This concept is linear and appeals to our natural concepts of time and cause and effect. Less intuitive is how "who we are" effects "who we were".
In the beginning of the Internet, content and form were joined at the hip. If you wanted to print something in cyberspace you had to include how it would look. Then some people figured out they could separate content and form and Web 2.0 and XML and such was born. With this evolution it freed everyone to view content how they wish to view it. They could put every other word in large font and every third word in bold if the chose. Tis is similar to how the present effects the past.
Who you are can highlight certain aspects of who you were. The content doesn't really change but the context does. Who you are can frame the challenges of your past as your inspiration to overcome or an excuse for your current failures. It changes what people remember about you. If you graduate college and discover a cure for cancer, people will point out how you always did well in school, were well read, and how you used to play doctor when you were young. If you end up in jail people will remember and focus in on some anger event of your past and how you were destined for trouble and never mention your younger successes. If you end up on the cover of GQ only TMZ would highlight your younger days of parachute pants and white button down shirt over top a pink polo, most would just recall how you were always well groomed when you were young. What you are now might not truly effect what you were, but it sure changes the highlights from your past. It is inherent in the way people think. People see who you are or who they are and they need to justify this and they look for answers in what they know of your past. Just ask anyone who has attended class reunions.
Even less intuitive is how "what will be" effects "what is" and "what was". How can something that hasn't happened yet and is not set in stone have any significant effect on who I am and who I was? Just like present accomplishments can frame who we were, future dreams and aspirations can frame who we are. Every moment of the present is a choice on how to proceed in the future. Our vision of where we want to be is just as powerful as our past. It can frame you as ambitious and dedicated or it can frame you as obsessed.
You don't have to look too far to see this concept in other areas of life. Science poses the question in theories like space time continuum and string theory and quantum entanglement. They use Schroedinger's cat in a box to try to explain such difficult concepts. Religion points to this in prayers like the Glory Be and mysteries like how Christ died to save us from all sin not just sins that had already happened but all those sins yet to come. History books are constant examples of how the present frames the past. Psychology often studies how to move between who we were and who we are to help us figure out who we will be. We have examples everywhere in life on this symbiotic relationship between past, present, and future. But the best examples of this relationship comes from the heart and is only really understood deep down inside. The good news is, though we might not be able to physically change our past, we can put it in a good perspective as we can adjust who we are now and make good choices in who we want to be in the future.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
There is a symbiotic relationship between who you were, who you are, and who you will be. Some connections in this relationship are easy to understand. Most people understand how "who we were" effected "who we are" and how both those can have a profound effect on "who we will be". This concept is linear and appeals to our natural concepts of time and cause and effect. Less intuitive is how "who we are" effects "who we were".
In the beginning of the Internet, content and form were joined at the hip. If you wanted to print something in cyberspace you had to include how it would look. Then some people figured out they could separate content and form and Web 2.0 and XML and such was born. With this evolution it freed everyone to view content how they wish to view it. They could put every other word in large font and every third word in bold if the chose. Tis is similar to how the present effects the past.
Who you are can highlight certain aspects of who you were. The content doesn't really change but the context does. Who you are can frame the challenges of your past as your inspiration to overcome or an excuse for your current failures. It changes what people remember about you. If you graduate college and discover a cure for cancer, people will point out how you always did well in school, were well read, and how you used to play doctor when you were young. If you end up in jail people will remember and focus in on some anger event of your past and how you were destined for trouble and never mention your younger successes. If you end up on the cover of GQ only TMZ would highlight your younger days of parachute pants and white button down shirt over top a pink polo, most would just recall how you were always well groomed when you were young. What you are now might not truly effect what you were, but it sure changes the highlights from your past. It is inherent in the way people think. People see who you are or who they are and they need to justify this and they look for answers in what they know of your past. Just ask anyone who has attended class reunions.
Even less intuitive is how "what will be" effects "what is" and "what was". How can something that hasn't happened yet and is not set in stone have any significant effect on who I am and who I was? Just like present accomplishments can frame who we were, future dreams and aspirations can frame who we are. Every moment of the present is a choice on how to proceed in the future. Our vision of where we want to be is just as powerful as our past. It can frame you as ambitious and dedicated or it can frame you as obsessed.
You don't have to look too far to see this concept in other areas of life. Science poses the question in theories like space time continuum and string theory and quantum entanglement. They use Schroedinger's cat in a box to try to explain such difficult concepts. Religion points to this in prayers like the Glory Be and mysteries like how Christ died to save us from all sin not just sins that had already happened but all those sins yet to come. History books are constant examples of how the present frames the past. Psychology often studies how to move between who we were and who we are to help us figure out who we will be. We have examples everywhere in life on this symbiotic relationship between past, present, and future. But the best examples of this relationship comes from the heart and is only really understood deep down inside. The good news is, though we might not be able to physically change our past, we can put it in a good perspective as we can adjust who we are now and make good choices in who we want to be in the future.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
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