RIP Picasso

To my son Tommy,

At the ripe young age of 21 years, my cat Picasso, has finally passed.  He was often called Pica because of his sharp teeth that reminded my father of the Puerto Rican pica-pica vines and bushes.  He was preceded by the death of his brother Louie by about five years.  We got Pica in 1992 and later adopted his brother from the same litter when my Grandmom Deezy came to live with us.  He transcended many of the different eras of my life, from my college days, to my bar tending days, all the way to the present.  He lived large, often giving Garfield a run for his money on the scale and living the party life of Bill the Cat.  I am pretty sure that some of the girls I dated in college stayed with me just because of Pica's cuteness.  Even when he would do something mischievous, like biting my roommates toes because Eric's restless leg made it look like a rodent was under the blanket as he slept, Pica's cuteness would make it impossible to stay mad at him.  He lived a long and good life and was well loved and will be missed by most.  You, being allergic, will be better off without a cat at your grandparent's house.  Also your Grandma Ro and your mom were not the biggest fans of Pica in the last couple years.  But to your father, he was a companion and friend and though I will miss him it was his time.  Your Grandpa Leo held him through the night to keep him warm (they had lost power at their house) and spent the last day of Pica's life letting him know he was loved and not alone.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Did He Help You?

To my son Tommy,

Today I was getting ready for jury duty.  You woke up and came and cuddled with me for a bit.  You said, "Daddy, guess what?" and without giving proper time for a guess you added, "I didn't have any dreams this week!"

"No dreams?  Is that a good thing?" I inquired.

"No.  No bad dreams." you retorted.

"That's great!" I said with honest enthusiasm.

"Yeah." you responded matter of factly "God helped me out"

I smiled as what you said washed over my brain.

Then you added, "Did God help you out this week?"

"To be certain he did!" I thoughtfully responded, "Do you know how?"

"How?"

"He gave me a son like you!"

On a day like today, after a week like this week, within a quick conversation God has renewed me using a five year old angel (usually) as his tool.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Time To Get Naked

To my son Tommy,

Some time after work today, I was charged with drawing your bath.  I had the water the perfect mixture of hot and cold and the tub was filling nicely.  You came in to watch and I said to you, "Time to get naked!"  It wasn't what I said, but more how I said it.  (Mind you this post is for a much older Tommy and if you decide to read these before your eighteenth birthday, turn away now.)  It reminded me of my college or bartender days when I tried to convey enthusiasm or excitement to the ladies as I tried to talk them into strip poker or skinny dipping.  I didn't have much to work with, so I resorted to the Irish gift of the persuasion to convince them this was a good idea.  I guess I was trying to convince you that taking a bath was the cool thing to do right now, because Lord knows with the day I had I didn't need any arguments or hassle.  Surprisingly it worked better on you than I ever remember it working in my younger days.  It goes without saying those days were long ago and far away and I was a much different person then.  It does go to show you, if you say anything with the right inflections and intonations and resolve, you can make people look forward to most anything.  Often it is not what you say but how you say it that counts.  If I said, get undressed so Mommy can bathe you, with the matter of fact tone that is apropos of the required task, I doubt you would have been so excited to get all sudsy.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

What To Offer

To my son Tommy,

A tear shed in a funeral home is a strange mixture of sadness and joy.  It is an inexplicable mixture of grief and love.  There are no words that can reconcile these two extremes felt by a friend who has lost a loved one.  All you can offer is your presence, a hug, and a shared tear.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Forgive

To my son Tommy,

Moral consequences are only inevitable in fiction.  In reality, it seems karma is not the big "B" it is supposed to be, or at least it doesn't show itself on a punctual time table.  To be haunted by a telltale heart, a person has to have some conscience or some knowledge of how wrong they are.  In literature it always seems the villain goes to jail while the hero lives happily ever after.  You only have to look at big business or politics and their members to realize that is not always the case.

I tell you this not so you will become one of those scoundrels who doesn't worry about consequences, for you have too much moral fiber and too much goodness in you to become one of those.  Rather, I warn you of this so you do not become consumed waiting and watching for those other types to get their comeuppance.  Life can pass you by waiting and wishing for some ne'er-do-well to get what's coming to them and in the end it may not happen in this earthly lifetime.  And what will that get you?

That is why we practice forgiveness.  It is the gift that gives to both parties.  It frees your heart and your mind for those things in life that are much more important.  When you forgive, you rise above our petty human nature and mirror the divine.  It is one of the hardest but one of the most rewarding actions you will ever have to do.  Practice it well and practice it often.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Cliche

To my son Tommy,

I guess if I were your typical all American dad I would be writing to you about the Super Bowl right now.  In all honesty, though I love the game of football itself, I find myself somewhere between slightly amused and slightly disgusted with all the hoopla and extravagance.  All the extra, all the buzz, to me detracts from the game.  Even in my bartending days, even when my team was involved, I would rather take off and watch the game alone with heavy use of the mute button on the remote.

I just finished watching the halftime show and for the majority of the time my only thought was how that money could have been better spent.  I thought of the impending weather and those who have no shelter from the elements.  The shoutout from the troops overseas were touching but it was a case of too little too late.  Of course if I am looking for some uplifting moral story, perhaps professional football is not the best place for me to look.  The best I can hope for is some improbable against the odds second half comeback.  But with that kickoff run back for a touchdown, the improbable seems impossible and perhaps the best I can hope for is an early night to sleep.  Probably best for this old fuddy duddy of a dad.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Quick Report

To my son Tommy,

Today's letter is going to be a good example of non-sequitur because my mind has been jumping back and forth along the roller coaster of life.

This morning we were planning out a grocery trip.  I asked you to pass a flyer for Giant to your mom.  You took it, backed up and started running it over to her making an airplane noise.  It took me be a bit but I got it...it was a flyer!

Also, during the grocery planning phase, it dawned on me that I should use a tool to price out the grocery list before reading any flyers or specials or attacking our coupon stack.  Then, after pulling out the good specials and the coupons, if the total price falls while the item count rises or stays the same...I won.  If it rises, they won.

We got out to The Still for Aunt Kelly's 30th birthday.  It was great to see everyone and nice to get out.  We even worked it out so your mom could come.  She wore her wound vac up to the restaurant, then in the parking lot she disconnected.  She was now under the cinderella rule and had two hours before she had to be reconnected without going through a whole mess of a mess.  We got in just under the wire.  It sucks that we had to run out like that but you do what you have to.  They had got some sad news at the end of the party and we really wanted to stay and just give them some big hugs.

I miss the free time we used to be able to spend with Eric and Kelly.  At one time, your Uncle Eric and I were considered inseparable, but life happens and families happen and mortgages happen and such.  It does make the time when we can get back together that much more special.  You and Rhiannon and Garrett spent the night with napkins on your head in a bonnet and in your shirt collar as a cape running around the restaurant playing.  It was probably good that your Uncle Eric got us a semi private room.

On the way home from the restaurant, there was a major accident on the beltway.  We got to see a state trooper helicopter land.  We also learned a lesson about rolling down and up windows.  We learned that Daddy should warn you when he is going to roll up your window in case you have some fingers waving out it.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo