The Most Important Things

To my son Tommy,

Every day of our lives, we tend to put importance on so many things.  We focus in on what we have to do and what we should do and what we can't do, and in the process we miss the more important things in life.  When something big comes around and makes us focus less on the mundane we should remember these three important things.

• You are alive.
• I guess this is the most important thing.  No matter how bad things seem, your life is still a treasured gift that you should cherish.  All other possibilities start from here.
• You are loved.
• Look around you and you will see love.  Even in the direst situations, even when it seems too dark to see, love is there.  You'll find it in your family and your friends and, of course, God.  There are times when you will feel alone and that you have been abandoned by God and your loved ones, but the love is still there.  Often when you feel that way, you will come to realize that you didn't want to see the love or feel the love or accept it.  Open your heart and love will come to you simply because you are alive.
• You can change.
• There is always a new day dawning with a new beginning.  Simply by being alive, you have the opportunity to seek forgiveness, to seek love, to seek a better life.  You can scrap everything and start over if you need to.  Even those things you have been trying to do, trying to change unsuccessfully, each day gives you an opportunity to whittle away at the problem until one day you will triumph.  Some times things happen that might seem out of your control, but something truly unchangeable is rare and you still retain the power to change how you will deal with it.  You have all this power to change things simply because you are alive.

With these three thoughts in your mind, there isn't anything that we can't figure out.  Armed with this perspective we can attack even the scariest problems in our lives.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Over Time

To my son Tommy,

Things don't happen all at once, or at least not usually.  Things happen over an ever changing fluid state of person to bring each of us to our own present situation.  Consequently, if you want to change a situation it may take a bunch of little steps building upon themselves to "fix the problem". I don't really like that term "fix the problem" and prefer to talk about changing realities or changing situations and circumstances.  "Fixing" seems to suggest there is an easy solution.  Many are under the mistaken notion that just make this one change, put some super glue on it, and all will be well.  They are lead to believe that years and years of little changes that brought us to the present realities can be erased in days with the right change, or the right politician, or the right act, or the right amount of contrition, or the right pill.  The reality is we must set a stable foundation and build layer upon layer to not only change our present circumstances but to make sure all the changes do not come tumbling down.  If we expect a quick fix we will only get discouraged and lose heart.  We must work to change situations the same way they were built, over time.

This thought occurred to me at my Sharing Christ course last night when the questions were posed, "When did you meet Jesus?" and "When did you commit your life to Jesus?".  I thought you might as well ask me "when did I get fat?" or better yet "when did I mature?".  Along the way there might have been moments that lead to me getting plump, but I can't say, "yeah it was thanksgiving 2002.  I had a double helping of turkey and mashed potatoes followed by too many deserts and boom I blew up like that Stay Puft marshmallow man."  But the comparison to maturity is probably more apt because who knows when they started being more and more mature and who really thinks they have hit the epitome of maturity.  Certainly not this fat fellow.  It is the same thing in my relationship with Christ, ever evolving, ever growing, no start, no beginning, no end.

That is why it is so important to understand that change comes with little steps or (to borrow from previous posts) gateways that lead each of us down our paths on the journey of life.  Sometimes it comes quickly, sometimes it is painfully slow, but the most important part is that we make sure the changes in our lives and our realities come from a good foundation. That way even if something comes by and knocks down all you have built, the solid foundation will allow you to build again.   I hope, my son, to give you that good foundation and build upon it layer by layer, over time.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo