Inclusivity

 

To my son Tommy and his twin sisters,

 

Tommy, your mother pointed out that I should not leave out your twin sisters. Perhaps the address of each letter will change slightly here and there. A more targeted address, like "to my lovely children," or "to the banes of my current existence," or just each individually or just to the twins occasionally, will be used.

 

Ladies, for now, if I slip back into my usual address that is dedicated to just Tommy, I ask forgiveness. Tommy was here first. He inspired me to write these letters. In no way were the 865 previous letters designed to leave you out. In no way is anything I wrote not meant for your eyes and ears and hearts and minds. I will include you, and your love, and your shenanigans, and the life lessons you teach me and your mom, in these letters as well.

There is a fine line for parents to walk when dealing with multiple children. No matter how much we say how much we love you all, opportunities are ripe for children to feel a sense of favoritism or injustice. Each of you are unique (even the twins) with your own personality and wants and needs. We try to interact and nourish and love each of you accordingly. We don’t necessarily love you in the same way, equally, because each of you differ in what love you need. But we love you equitably and we try to show and grow our love as a family unit. 

From time to time, you may look with envy at what the other gets and have a short memory of what you have received. Remember, the only time we need to compare, to look in your neighbor’s bowl, is to make sure they have enough, not to make sure you have as much as them. (That last reworded thought is attributed to a comedian named Louis CK and alas not my own but still stands true)

 

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo