To my son Tommy,
I have somehow managed to categorize and compartmentalize my social presence. With the amount of competing social medias online, I suppose it was only a matter of time. It is the same theory as owning a bunch of cordless phones and their bases. We have four. You wouldn't line them all up in the same room. Instead you spread them out, one in the kitchen, one in the living room, one in the bedroom, and (with our family and your mom's crohn's disease) one in the john. Each phone can do the same thing but we have spread their duties to cover more area in our house and make life easier for us. Somehow your mom can end up with three or four phones in one place, but for the most part each one has a specific location for a specific purpose.
This is similar to what my online life has become. I use Blogger, of course, to write you these letters. I use Facebook to follow family and friends. I use LinkedIn for work updates and professional stuff. I use Google+ profile but I haven't found it's niche use yet. I kind of think of it like a backup quarterback for Facebook. There are other tools out there that I use (like Yelp to look up restaurants when I can find an honest review and we have spare money to go out) or have used (Is myspace still around?) for various things and to various degrees and there are yet others I haven't started using but the most interesting tool as of late is Twitter.
I find myself using Twitter for news and increasingly to follow along with local issues and follow along with local news. They recently had an award ceremony for local tweeters and bloggers and such called the Mobbies. When the results were posted, I ended up with a treasure trove of people to follow on Twitter. I never thought an online tool would increase how connected I can feel to my city, yet here I am hanging on tweets of bearded local reporters and watchdog agitators. It feels good to be at least informed if not enlightened even if it is a bit of escapism from current struggles.
I wonder, when you read this, if these names of the sites and tools will have lasted or if you will have to go looking for them in a history book or wiki or whatever the tool du jour is. I also wonder how many people are compartmentalizing their online life like me or if this is just some sort of geekly OCD. If you find yourself with lots of social media tools (or lots of cordless phones in the house for that matter) remember to diversify and not throw all your eggs in one basket. It may actually seem counter intuitive that you can simplify your life using multiple tools for specific purposes when each and any of the tools could probably handle and satisfy all areas. Logic would normally suggest, if that is the case, to simplify by only picking one tool. But in this ever changing age, where tools come and go and depend on the success of their IPO, being well versed in all your options gives you some peace of mind. It also spreads the burden and allows you to choose which online area of your life you want to spend time. One of the best things about spreading out your activities among sites, you feel less guilty about taking a break from one or all and you feel less overwhelmed when you decide to resume. And always remember, it goes without saying too often, that these are just tools to life and the majority of your time should be spent outside of these tools, living real life with real people in real interactions.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Means And Ends
To my son Tommy,
In attempt to break from the norm, which includes basic medical posts and situation reports, I will again try to delve into the depths of the philosophical. Perhaps using my mind for some thinking on a greater than normal magnitude will clear the cobwebs induced by the cold remedies I am taking. At the least it will be a welcomed diversion and might be quite entertaining to read when I am not hopped up on NyQuil or Sudafed.
Would you murder one innocent person to save one million people?
Would you murder one innocent person to save just one other person?
Would you murder one innocent person to save five people?
Would you murder 200,001 people to save 378,543 people?
If you ever start exploring questions like these, you are exploring the question if ends justify the means. You are exploring if you are willing to do something inherently bad for a good result. You are also exploring if you are willing to forgive someone for the evils they did if the result is sufficiently good.
In my limited human capacity, I occasionally believe there are times when the end results justify the means, but I temper that with the end results don't excuse the means. This means if I choose to do something wrong for a greater good, I must also be willing to accept the consequences and realities of that choice. In my thinking, the ends don't necessarily eliminate the punishment for my actions.
Say for example that I am a police officer. I have the chance to get a very bad guy off the streets and make the world a safer place. But in order to accomplish this, I have to trample over some laws and some of his rights. Would you do it? It almost seems like a no brainer? But if I chose to do it, I should also be willing to lose my job and face a prison sentence myself. If the ends are so great that I am willing to compromise my own moral compass than I should be willing to accept any results of my actions. Many use the ends vs means argument to free themselves from repercussions. Though end result might get you more mercy, you can't rely on this. You have to be willing to accept the full punishment for any wrongful action regardless if the results were good or not.
Life isn't easy and we are faced with difficult choices day in and day out. We fill our lives with little white lies and other harmless transgressions. We temper our actions with rationalizations and reasons that invoke results "for the greater good" or future penances. It begins us down that proverbial slippery slope. The actions begin small but will get bigger and so will the questions and so will the grey area.
What man among us would fault someone for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family? Yet do we condone this action because of the dire need or because he stole only a little? If he stole a priceless diamond to feed his family for years, do we apply the same leniency? And what of the man who refused to steal even though he and his family were also starving? Do we look better or worse upon such a man? And where do we hold accountable the rich man who has plenty?
It is easy to see how the questions get murkier every time you decide to justify a bad action with a good result. Once again, I don't have any answers for you. Try your hardest and consider all things. You will get this wrong from time to time, as all men do. Do not shirk from the consequences of your actions nor hide behind the results. Luckily our transgressions amount to a drop in the ocean that is the infinite grace and forgiveness of God which when sought by the penitent man will truly free us from ourselves.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
In attempt to break from the norm, which includes basic medical posts and situation reports, I will again try to delve into the depths of the philosophical. Perhaps using my mind for some thinking on a greater than normal magnitude will clear the cobwebs induced by the cold remedies I am taking. At the least it will be a welcomed diversion and might be quite entertaining to read when I am not hopped up on NyQuil or Sudafed.
Would you murder one innocent person to save one million people?
Would you murder one innocent person to save just one other person?
Would you murder one innocent person to save five people?
Would you murder 200,001 people to save 378,543 people?
If you ever start exploring questions like these, you are exploring the question if ends justify the means. You are exploring if you are willing to do something inherently bad for a good result. You are also exploring if you are willing to forgive someone for the evils they did if the result is sufficiently good.
In my limited human capacity, I occasionally believe there are times when the end results justify the means, but I temper that with the end results don't excuse the means. This means if I choose to do something wrong for a greater good, I must also be willing to accept the consequences and realities of that choice. In my thinking, the ends don't necessarily eliminate the punishment for my actions.
Say for example that I am a police officer. I have the chance to get a very bad guy off the streets and make the world a safer place. But in order to accomplish this, I have to trample over some laws and some of his rights. Would you do it? It almost seems like a no brainer? But if I chose to do it, I should also be willing to lose my job and face a prison sentence myself. If the ends are so great that I am willing to compromise my own moral compass than I should be willing to accept any results of my actions. Many use the ends vs means argument to free themselves from repercussions. Though end result might get you more mercy, you can't rely on this. You have to be willing to accept the full punishment for any wrongful action regardless if the results were good or not.
Life isn't easy and we are faced with difficult choices day in and day out. We fill our lives with little white lies and other harmless transgressions. We temper our actions with rationalizations and reasons that invoke results "for the greater good" or future penances. It begins us down that proverbial slippery slope. The actions begin small but will get bigger and so will the questions and so will the grey area.
What man among us would fault someone for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family? Yet do we condone this action because of the dire need or because he stole only a little? If he stole a priceless diamond to feed his family for years, do we apply the same leniency? And what of the man who refused to steal even though he and his family were also starving? Do we look better or worse upon such a man? And where do we hold accountable the rich man who has plenty?
It is easy to see how the questions get murkier every time you decide to justify a bad action with a good result. Once again, I don't have any answers for you. Try your hardest and consider all things. You will get this wrong from time to time, as all men do. Do not shirk from the consequences of your actions nor hide behind the results. Luckily our transgressions amount to a drop in the ocean that is the infinite grace and forgiveness of God which when sought by the penitent man will truly free us from ourselves.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
When The Going Gets Tough
To my son Tommy,
It occurred to me that it might seem odd to you that I was talking about volunteering while everything medical is going on with your mom. Let me be clear, your mother's health takes precedence over any volunteer work. Your mother's health takes precedence over my job even. Though my first priorities have changed, in times of struggle, you don't stop doing, especially good things, if you are capable.
You don't stop taking care of yourself because of hard times. You don't stop taking care of your home and family because of adversity. You don't stop paying bills if you can afford. You don't stop working if you can avoid it. You don't have to limit your activities to mere survival. You can still go to church. You can still volunteer. You can still recycle. You can still enjoy a stroll. You can still laugh without feeling guilty.
Life is struggle. If we shutdown every time struggle came at us, nothing ever in this world would be accomplished. The key here is prioritizing. Perhaps that load of laundry can wait till later. Perhaps you can give yourself an extra week with the sheets on the bed for a slight break. Your head is probably swimming and it might not know if you are coming or going. So you have to rely on your heart and your gut.
There are certain times in your life when it is okay to let everything else shutdown. You will feel it in your heart when those moments come. Deep inside you will know if you should be there by the side of their hospital bed at all times rather than volunteering at a soup kitchen or something. If death strikes a family, all the other goings on in the world take a back seat as you flock to the comfort your family and friends and lean on those same people for your own comfort. Perhaps later you can continue the rest of the stuff but at that point you just need to grieve and be there for each other.
It really is a balancing act where there seem to be no universal right answer. There will be times where your clouded head will somehow override the choice by your pure heart and you end up with the wrong answer. Often we realize that with hindsight from a clearer mind. Other times we have to be told by someone else that it is time to go back to what really matters and leave the rest for later. Last night, for me, that someone else was your Bwama and as I was using my volunteerism for escapism and was ready to go on to the fifth computer, she pointed out that the computers will be here tomorrow and the next day and it was time to get home to my wife. It is a tricky balancing act that everyone is bound to screw up in one form or another, but, God willing, we will get it right more often than we will get it wrong.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
It occurred to me that it might seem odd to you that I was talking about volunteering while everything medical is going on with your mom. Let me be clear, your mother's health takes precedence over any volunteer work. Your mother's health takes precedence over my job even. Though my first priorities have changed, in times of struggle, you don't stop doing, especially good things, if you are capable.
You don't stop taking care of yourself because of hard times. You don't stop taking care of your home and family because of adversity. You don't stop paying bills if you can afford. You don't stop working if you can avoid it. You don't have to limit your activities to mere survival. You can still go to church. You can still volunteer. You can still recycle. You can still enjoy a stroll. You can still laugh without feeling guilty.
Life is struggle. If we shutdown every time struggle came at us, nothing ever in this world would be accomplished. The key here is prioritizing. Perhaps that load of laundry can wait till later. Perhaps you can give yourself an extra week with the sheets on the bed for a slight break. Your head is probably swimming and it might not know if you are coming or going. So you have to rely on your heart and your gut.
There are certain times in your life when it is okay to let everything else shutdown. You will feel it in your heart when those moments come. Deep inside you will know if you should be there by the side of their hospital bed at all times rather than volunteering at a soup kitchen or something. If death strikes a family, all the other goings on in the world take a back seat as you flock to the comfort your family and friends and lean on those same people for your own comfort. Perhaps later you can continue the rest of the stuff but at that point you just need to grieve and be there for each other.
It really is a balancing act where there seem to be no universal right answer. There will be times where your clouded head will somehow override the choice by your pure heart and you end up with the wrong answer. Often we realize that with hindsight from a clearer mind. Other times we have to be told by someone else that it is time to go back to what really matters and leave the rest for later. Last night, for me, that someone else was your Bwama and as I was using my volunteerism for escapism and was ready to go on to the fifth computer, she pointed out that the computers will be here tomorrow and the next day and it was time to get home to my wife. It is a tricky balancing act that everyone is bound to screw up in one form or another, but, God willing, we will get it right more often than we will get it wrong.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)