Chopped Liver

To my son Tommy,

Had jury duty today and picked you up around 5pm. Mom is off working more on the basement. We were rushing around getting dinner done and moving on to homework in a second but I thought this little conversation worth reporting.

You: Can I have some water?
Me (half listening as I was going through your "go book" looking for homework assignments): I'd have to make more mac and cheese.
You: No, I said water.
Me: Oh, yeah sure. You know how to get your water. Cup is right there.
You (looking at cup):
Me (looking at you):
You (looking at me):
Me: Go ahead and get it. What am I your...
You (interrupting): Chopped liver?
Me: What? No. That isn't the right use of that. I was going to say "servant".
You (looking at me like chopped liver):
Me (looking at cup):
You: I guess I can get my own water.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Obligatory First Day

To my son Tommy,

I would be remiss if I didn't write to you on your first day of school. It is obligatory and I could have my "daddy card" revoked if I didn't.

I love that you are excited for your first day of school. No tears from you. I had to wrangle you in to give hugs to Bwama and Poppop who came to see you and Ryan as St Agnes started up its school year for the 150th time. After the forced hugs, you quickly ran off to your friends. Hugs and high fives and a whole bunch of "Great to see you again". I think I even heard you compliment someone's shoes.

Speaking of footwear, notice the brown shoes in the pic. Those are required now that you are a highfalutin first grader. Now you need to learn to tie them!

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

P.S. Poppop got some pics at the school. Will see if I can add them later.

You Can Try

To my son Tommy,

You can try diversion. You can try avoidance. You can try denial. You can try alcohol. You can try to fill your entire weekend with something new and different and fun filled like spending it camping for your brother-in-law's 40th, complete with tubing down a lazy river and such. You can try all types of crazy things or techniques...

But none of it will protect you from the sadness of an anniversary of the loss of a loved one. Tommy, you would have made one heck of a big brother. Rest in peace Baby Sal.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo

Outdoor Sleeping

To my son Tommy,

You sleep more soundly in the outdoors.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Broken Record

To my son Tommy,

I often worry about being a broken record and how often I repeat myself. How many times can you say "love is the way" and in how many different ways? How many times do I need to remind you that life is often difficult and unfair, but it matters not how often you get crapped upon but more about your attitude and how you approach the many challenges of life? How many times can you say brain tumors and seizures suck and we are back in the hospital and trying to keep a positive attitude? 

I guess as many times as I have to. And as you can see by the picture, yet again there is another ER trip for your Granpa Leo. The hat and low lights are to reduce seizures. He is being admitted for observation.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Mosca Hunter

To my son Tommy,

Today, after work, I stopped by your grandparents' house. You and Mommy were there earlier to take Nana Jeanne to the hospital but had already left. I did a few chores (trash out, computer updates, go over mom's recent doc appointment helping hand here and there) and just visited for a bit of time.

During my visit, your Grandpa Leo excitedly says, "Oh! You have to see the mosca masks!"

I searched my mind's store of Spanish vocabulary and remembered that "mosca" is Spanish for fly. Evidently you and he were hunting flies. One of you, not sure which, suggested you make disguises to fool the flies so you could get closer with your swatter. He came out  in his mask, as seen in the picture I snapped (not sure why he was carrying a bag of lemons though). Even the eyes had a punch of pin prick holes to mimic fly eyes. Your mask looked good too. You never know what to expect when you get your Grandpa Leo and you together, but there is a high probability of it being off the wall but filled with love!

Sincerely with love from your dad,

Leo

Bitter Pill

To my son Tommy,

Your father is a bitter pill. I am blunt, direct, forward, and often harsh or downright abrasive. I used to rationalize this as I have the necessary lack of tact for the occasion rather than I lack the necessary tact. I used to think this served me well and was a good thing born from experience.. Years of being too nice or too easy going often got me walked on, taken advantage of, or taken for granted. As I grew and extended my practical contact with people, I learned where to remain guarded, and untrusting, and firm, and harsh, and demanding, and unforgiving. I no longer consider it a positive.

I have come to realize you can be nice and firm at the same time. You can be pleasant and easy in your manners and ways while still being mostly direct. You get more flies with honey. Sweeter words are easier to swallow just in case you have to eat your words. "No thank you" is as just as effective as "NO! That is stupid! Not now! Not ever!" Now the key is putting this realization into action. That is much easier said than done in my age. When you have been burned so many times before over forty one years, you get set in your ways.

But this is not how I want you to grow up. I want you to be gentle and sweet and nice, like you are now. In order for you to stay that way, I know I have to change my ways, because example is the most powerful teacher. I want you to learn that nice isn't always saying yes, and no doesn't mean you have to be harsh. I am not saying abandon what you know to be correct (which I do occasionally, much to my later dismay) but just be nice about how you go about explaining why it needs to be done that way. I want you to have patience when you teach, and patience when you have to explain something over and over. I want you to learn to sway people to your thinking rather than ramming what you think is right down their throat. Basically, I want you to learn to be the quintessential Irishman and have the ability to tell someone to go to hell and look forward to the trip. Don't let life change you for the worse my son. Don't grow up to be a grumpy jaded old man like your dad who only wants to tell you once and has no time for people who can't see what is "right" right away. Be kind. Be gentle. Be loving. Inspire people to be better people. Inspire other people to be kind. Maybe then, this world will have a chance.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo