To my daughters Rosie and Ilee,
Sunday, March 13, 2022
Unpacking
Saturday, March 12, 2022
Happy Meals Make My Girls Happy
To my daughters Ilee and Rosie,
Thursday, March 10, 2022
Flying Birds
To my son Tommy and my daughters Rosie and Ilee,
Monday, March 7, 2022
Reading Minds
To the twins,
Sunday, March 6, 2022
Sudden Changes For The Better
To my son Tommy and my daughters “the twins”,
Saturday, March 5, 2022
Take Your Shots
To my son Tommy,
“Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment Would you capture it, or just let it slip?” We hear this line from the song “Lose Yourself” by Eminem right before every basketball game. It has become our pre-game ritual.
You had two games today, and the morning game saw you with four or five shots. Not a single one went in. Every parent for our team leaned and squirmed and tried to will the ball off the rim and into the basket every shot you had. You were close, but no two. But that is okay with me. Keep taking the shots. They will fall in place eventually.
More importantly, your basketball game has improved greatly this year, and not just ball handling, defense, and taking shots. You have learned to be a team player. You have learned to give it your all. You have learned that every action counts and can help your team even when it is away from the ball or even on the bench. You have gained a bit more poise and a bunch more confidence on the court, and off. You have learned that these lessons from team sports translate to all aspects of your life. You can go this entire season without ever making a bucket, and I will still be amazingly proud of you and your growth.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Friday, March 4, 2022
Doing Undone Chores
To my son Tommy,
Thursday, March 3, 2022
Maintenance
Wednesday, March 2, 2022
Precarious
To my son Tommy and my daughters Illee and Rosie,
I wish I could always talk about funny on goings in the family or small life lessons learned or basically keep to the lighter stuff. I would, however, be remiss to not share accounts of the events throughout the greater world, especially when they have such potential for catastrophe. Maybe one day you will read this and realize why mommy and daddy kept putting on the news to the distress and outcry from the girls who seemingly cannot survive without another episode of “Butterbean’s CafĂ©” and how they foil Ms. Marmalade.
The world once again stands in a precarious situation. Conflict has never left the world for any significant time, but there is no doubt the current situation in Europe rises well above the level of "conflict" and can be called war. This is an all-out war, a war that can continue to escalate and have wide and dire consequences for everyone in the world. You see Russia has invaded the Ukraine. Russia is a superpower with nuclear capabilities and has even hinted that it is not above putting the world into a nuclear winter should anyone interfere.
Now unlike most people on the internet these days, I do not pretend to be an accomplished geo political analyst. However, it doesn't take a professional to know some serious crap is going down. It also doesn't take an expert to realize that Russia under their leader Vladimir Putin is the aggressor, the invader, the villain here. That much seems obvious to me, but alas some others in the world, and even a few others in our own country, will argue this point. The world we live in is fraught with misinformation, disinformation, and pure bad judgement bolstered by ego and ignorance and political vitriol. To say I am concerned and disheartened would be an understatement.
There are flashes of hope. There are stories of valor. There are moments that briefly restore faith in humanity, but these moment are interspersed among death and desolation and violence that almost immediately blankets what little optimism that shines through with a shroud of despair.
This is the state of the world. It can wear you down greatly. Though this current war seems more dire than many conflicts of the past, I do not foresee a world where such events never happen. As your Grandpa Leo, a keen student of history, would often remind me, "It has happened before, it is happening now, it will happen again. The only thing we can do is study history, and learn from the past mistakes, and commit ourselves to not repeat such mistakes, and pray that one day mankind will let love into their hearts and abandon such violent folly."
I remember those words well. When he told me it was April 1986 and I was 11 years old and the U.S. had just bombed Libya in retaliation for a bombing of West Berlin discotheque which injured or killed a bunch of people including many U.S. military personnel. It was easily the biggest and scariest thing that I was aware of in my short life. We were stationed in Italy at the time. Libya was a relatively quick hop south over the Mediterranean, and, because Libya used to be an Italian colony, many Libyans also spoke Italian and enjoyed a liberal visa policy with Italy. Consequently over the next few months that followed, I learned how to check the underside of the family car with a mirror for bombs. I learned why one should vary their travel routes and why my dad would sometimes U-turn without warning and take a new path. I learned Army tactics for defending a military base with barricades and sniper positioning. I learned how to scan the horizon for threats. I saw some pretty crazy stuff. Fairly scary experience for an 11 year old me. I thought this would be the worst thing I would see in my life. Unfortunately, I was wrong. During my life there have been so many catastrophes and atrocities, all seemingly trying to outdo the last with their level of shock and devastation.
So we watch the current war in Ukraine with worry and anxiety. We watch the pundits on the tele saying "we should do this" and "we shouldn't do that" and "this will happen" and "doing this would be better" and other such flag waving or fear mongering or armchair quarterbacking. We wonder if our country is doing enough to help. We pray for those in harm's way. We wish the world would unite and stand for the supremacy of good over evil. We watch for those moments of hope and mercy and valor to help us not fall in despair. If I find myself losing all faith, I simply grab one of you and hug just a little bit tighter. Thank you for being my grounding rod and my comfort blanket.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Tuesday, March 1, 2022
Inclusivity
To my son Tommy and his twin sisters,
Tommy, your mother pointed out that I should not leave out your twin sisters. Perhaps the address of each letter will change slightly here and there. A more targeted address, like "to my lovely children," or "to the banes of my current existence," or just each individually or just to the twins occasionally, will be used.
Ladies, for now, if I slip back into my usual address that is dedicated to just Tommy, I ask forgiveness. Tommy was here first. He inspired me to write these letters. In no way were the 865 previous letters designed to leave you out. In no way is anything I wrote not meant for your eyes and ears and hearts and minds. I will include you, and your love, and your shenanigans, and the life lessons you teach me and your mom, in these letters as well.
There is a fine line for parents to walk when dealing with multiple children. No matter how much we say how much we love you all, opportunities are ripe for children to feel a sense of favoritism or injustice. Each of you are unique (even the twins) with your own personality and wants and needs. We try to interact and nourish and love each of you accordingly. We don’t necessarily love you in the same way, equally, because each of you differ in what love you need. But we love you equitably and we try to show and grow our love as a family unit.
From time to time, you may look with envy at what the other gets and have a short memory of what you have received. Remember, the only time we need to compare, to look in your neighbor’s bowl, is to make sure they have enough, not to make sure you have as much as them. (That last reworded thought is attributed to a comedian named Louis CK and alas not my own but still stands true)
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo