To my son Tommy,
It is closing day at the office today, closing for the month and closing for the quarter. This is when everyone scampers around collecting reports and balancing checkbooks and balancing budgets and generally just analyzing how we did this month, or at least getting it ready for an accountant or banker to analyze. It is quite the site to see, and is very stressful. Most of the errors made in the past month become quite evident on a closing day. Books don't match because you transposed digits in this register or jobcosting doesn't match because you put in the wrong job code. Every little hiccup and mistake costs you time to figure out and to close and you end up swearing that you will never make that error again. But inevitably in the next months, some of the mistakes creep back in.
To compound the "fun and excitement" of closing, I had about 3 computer projects end up culminating on this day. I won't get too technical for you, because by the time you read this the terms might be so outdated it will be like reading old English. Lets just say moving the email server, working with a software integration, and changing some programs...all on closing...was not good planning on my part. Won't be the last time that I am juggling a bunch of different things and a bit overwhelmed. I refuse to make promises that it won't happen again. Accepting reality can be bitter.
The concept of bean counting at the end of the month is a concept that I should probably use in other areas of my life. I am not talking about balancing the checkbook and making sure the mortgage is on time, though I should do more of that as well. I am talking about all the aspects of my life, like making sure I spent enough time on family, balancing my spiritual checkbook, counting all the love I have received, and taking inventory of my gratitude bank vault. Businesses give so much time and effort to closing their financials, I should give the same time and effort for what really matters.
So with closing behind me and just a couple straggling tasks left on my computer projects, I am going to hurry home to you and your mother so we can go spend some time with the rest of the family and Aunt Debbie's tonight. As I drive home I will begin an audit of my hugs and kisses and if I find any discrepancies, I will be doing some debt collecting real soon!
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Back In The Swing
To my son Tommy,
One of the hardest things to do in life is get back into a habit when you have had a lull. You quickly become accustomed to the way things are and forget the ways things were and don't dare look at the way things can be, should be, or will be. This is all usually compounded by guilt and shame of letting the practice go in the first place. Lets just face it, sometimes it is scary to get back in the swing of things.
Today we had an incident with you and school. You have missed three school days (the past week and half because you only go two days a week) because of being sick. We had the doctors ok to send you back Tuesday but it just seemed too hard. Today we fought through the reluctance. You didn't want to wake up. You didn't want to get cleaned up. You didn't want to get dressed. You didn't want to do your mask treatment. You didn't want to do anything because you didn't want to go to school today. That quickly school had become an unknown again, something to worry about and be afraid of. It is like if you saw a lizard and started telling the story, before you know it the lizard is some horrible huge dragon. Not until you face it again will you see it is just a tiny lizard. To get you to school again to face the mean dragon it had become, and to no doubt realize you love school again, took some serious struggle today.
It is no fun hearing excuses we have used to you being shot back at us. "It's too early!" is still ringing in my ear in that whiney voice. "We can do school tomorrow." or "Just stop" were two popular phrases from you today. But we didn't stop. We fought through the tears and the yells and the screams and the fights. We got you dressed and fed and out to school. We didn't get a full mask treatment on you, but I think that would have taken a dart gun with a sedative to accomplish that task. Mommy and I dropped you off and as your bottom lip started to quiver and before we could see your tears come...off we went.
Your mom just called and you had a great day in school. As double bonus you ate pancakes today and any time a new food gets passed your mouth it is a day to celebrate!
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
One of the hardest things to do in life is get back into a habit when you have had a lull. You quickly become accustomed to the way things are and forget the ways things were and don't dare look at the way things can be, should be, or will be. This is all usually compounded by guilt and shame of letting the practice go in the first place. Lets just face it, sometimes it is scary to get back in the swing of things.
Today we had an incident with you and school. You have missed three school days (the past week and half because you only go two days a week) because of being sick. We had the doctors ok to send you back Tuesday but it just seemed too hard. Today we fought through the reluctance. You didn't want to wake up. You didn't want to get cleaned up. You didn't want to get dressed. You didn't want to do your mask treatment. You didn't want to do anything because you didn't want to go to school today. That quickly school had become an unknown again, something to worry about and be afraid of. It is like if you saw a lizard and started telling the story, before you know it the lizard is some horrible huge dragon. Not until you face it again will you see it is just a tiny lizard. To get you to school again to face the mean dragon it had become, and to no doubt realize you love school again, took some serious struggle today.
It is no fun hearing excuses we have used to you being shot back at us. "It's too early!" is still ringing in my ear in that whiney voice. "We can do school tomorrow." or "Just stop" were two popular phrases from you today. But we didn't stop. We fought through the tears and the yells and the screams and the fights. We got you dressed and fed and out to school. We didn't get a full mask treatment on you, but I think that would have taken a dart gun with a sedative to accomplish that task. Mommy and I dropped you off and as your bottom lip started to quiver and before we could see your tears come...off we went.
Your mom just called and you had a great day in school. As double bonus you ate pancakes today and any time a new food gets passed your mouth it is a day to celebrate!
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Mimic
To my son Tommy,
One thing that has been quite a joy for me is watching you mimic the actions of your parents. Like all first time parents we had to learn the hard way to watch our example around you when you parroted back some not so social acceptable words and such. To this day you say "Oh my jeesh" but at one time that was a full on Jesus. There were worse instances but not appropriate for this blog. But we took the lesson to heart quite quickly and those slip ups are far fewer in between. Now we get to enjoy times like tonight.
You had been patiently waiting for me to get home and telling your mother that you were going to play toys with daddy as soon as he got home. You were so cute I had to oblige. We played all types of toys, from army guys to trolls to blocks to zoo animals to work bench building. Then as we were playing with your stuffed animals in your room you told me it was time for night night. You demanded I lay down in your bed and close my eyes. When I finally did, you took the covers and pulled them over me and tucked me in. You leaned over and gave me a kiss and whispered "You're a good boy daddy and I love you". I laid there with my eyes closed and the smile on my face was no match for the one in my heart. Staying as silent as a church mouse, you snuck out of your room after turning off the light. A couple minutes later you came back in and woke me up told me you missed me and asked me if I had a good sleep and what I dreamed about. Yeah if you are going to model any of my actions, you sure picked a good one!
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
One thing that has been quite a joy for me is watching you mimic the actions of your parents. Like all first time parents we had to learn the hard way to watch our example around you when you parroted back some not so social acceptable words and such. To this day you say "Oh my jeesh" but at one time that was a full on Jesus. There were worse instances but not appropriate for this blog. But we took the lesson to heart quite quickly and those slip ups are far fewer in between. Now we get to enjoy times like tonight.
You had been patiently waiting for me to get home and telling your mother that you were going to play toys with daddy as soon as he got home. You were so cute I had to oblige. We played all types of toys, from army guys to trolls to blocks to zoo animals to work bench building. Then as we were playing with your stuffed animals in your room you told me it was time for night night. You demanded I lay down in your bed and close my eyes. When I finally did, you took the covers and pulled them over me and tucked me in. You leaned over and gave me a kiss and whispered "You're a good boy daddy and I love you". I laid there with my eyes closed and the smile on my face was no match for the one in my heart. Staying as silent as a church mouse, you snuck out of your room after turning off the light. A couple minutes later you came back in and woke me up told me you missed me and asked me if I had a good sleep and what I dreamed about. Yeah if you are going to model any of my actions, you sure picked a good one!
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Unconditionally
To my son Tommy,
Do you realize, the moment you were born I forgave you for everything you will ever do to me? It is true. The second you were born every little thing I ever did to my father came playing through my head, except this time I assumed the role of dad. I felt shame for all the things in my life that I did wrong, because I realized the unconditional love that my father has for me as I now have it for you. There is nothing you can ever do to make me love you less. You have my love, given to you freely, over and over, twenty four seven. It is worth repeating, there is nothing you can ever do to make me love you less.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Do you realize, the moment you were born I forgave you for everything you will ever do to me? It is true. The second you were born every little thing I ever did to my father came playing through my head, except this time I assumed the role of dad. I felt shame for all the things in my life that I did wrong, because I realized the unconditional love that my father has for me as I now have it for you. There is nothing you can ever do to make me love you less. You have my love, given to you freely, over and over, twenty four seven. It is worth repeating, there is nothing you can ever do to make me love you less.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Monday, September 24, 2012
What Are Your Dreams?
To my son Tommy,
Many parents in this world wish and pray that all their children's dreams come true. I have thought long and hard on this subject and my answer to this is...it depends on their dreams! Too many people in this world dream of artificial and ephemeral joys. They want billions of dollars and power and prestige and such. These dreams of wealth and such are just not true to the heart. Jim Carey is credited with saying "I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it's not the answer." Words of wisdom from a very funny clever man. This world is filled with unhappy rich people. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of unhappy poor people too. Funny how discontent can be the great equalizer between the ninety-nine percent and the one percent. It just goes to show that what people should be looking for is not found in materialistic terms.
So here is hoping that all your dreams ARE true...true to the heart and true to your soul. With your dreams and aspirations in the right place, then and only then can I wish and pray that all your dreams come true!
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
P.S. If all my dreams had come true, I am pretty sure this world would have turned to ice cream when I was nine years old.
Many parents in this world wish and pray that all their children's dreams come true. I have thought long and hard on this subject and my answer to this is...it depends on their dreams! Too many people in this world dream of artificial and ephemeral joys. They want billions of dollars and power and prestige and such. These dreams of wealth and such are just not true to the heart. Jim Carey is credited with saying "I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it's not the answer." Words of wisdom from a very funny clever man. This world is filled with unhappy rich people. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of unhappy poor people too. Funny how discontent can be the great equalizer between the ninety-nine percent and the one percent. It just goes to show that what people should be looking for is not found in materialistic terms.
So here is hoping that all your dreams ARE true...true to the heart and true to your soul. With your dreams and aspirations in the right place, then and only then can I wish and pray that all your dreams come true!
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
P.S. If all my dreams had come true, I am pretty sure this world would have turned to ice cream when I was nine years old.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
End Of A Long Week
To my son Tommy,
Though I have had fun spending extra time with you this week, the circumstances that granted us this extra time were not wanted. It is been a long tiring week, filled with doctors and hospitals and medicines and coughs and aches and tears and such. Even though I choose to focus on the positive, it does not make the realities of a sick week disappear. I'd say I am back up to about 85% of prime, your mother probably running at 70% of prime, and then there is you. You have gotten through the cold or flu or whatever but we now have to figure out what this diagnosis of asthma means for you and your future health.
So as this week begins, we have a bunch of unanswered questions. Will work be horrid for me after missing a week? Will your mother be able to get through her exam tomorrow being in less than optimal health? Will we have to maintain nebulizer treatments for your lungs? But the unknown and the looming questions of life sure make it interesting to see how it all turns out.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Though I have had fun spending extra time with you this week, the circumstances that granted us this extra time were not wanted. It is been a long tiring week, filled with doctors and hospitals and medicines and coughs and aches and tears and such. Even though I choose to focus on the positive, it does not make the realities of a sick week disappear. I'd say I am back up to about 85% of prime, your mother probably running at 70% of prime, and then there is you. You have gotten through the cold or flu or whatever but we now have to figure out what this diagnosis of asthma means for you and your future health.
So as this week begins, we have a bunch of unanswered questions. Will work be horrid for me after missing a week? Will your mother be able to get through her exam tomorrow being in less than optimal health? Will we have to maintain nebulizer treatments for your lungs? But the unknown and the looming questions of life sure make it interesting to see how it all turns out.
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
Saturday, September 22, 2012
No Help From The Cowboy
A little guy sat on the porch watching his father. His dad was tasked with cleaning the car really quick as mom had to go to a baby shower and was running late. A little guy sat on the porch in his scooby doo pajamas and a cowboy hat. He soaked in the sun and breathed in the fresh air relieved to be out of quarantine for just a little bit. This little scooby doo cowboy busied himself with a model car filled with aq whale, a beetle, a toy soldier, and a dolphin. The crew obviously had a serious roadtrip, but this didn't stop the little guy from looking up and taking the time to say hello to anyone who passed by be they neighbor or stranger. The odd looks I am sure were from their surprise that a true cowboy lived in Baltimore city still. So the little guy sat and played and watched and said hello....but not once did he say "Dad, when you rolled down the windows in Mommy's car, you left your keys in the ignition and you are going to drain her battery and she is in a hurry so you will end up in the dog house!" Not once. No help. Not a single peep. No warning at all. Good thing this little guy is cute!
Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo
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