Thursday, March 20, 2014

My Next Prank Swap Gift

To my son Tommy,

One of the things in this world that makes me sad is other people's success. Sounds shallow, doesn't it? But I am not talking about deserving success or clever success or even blind luck success. Those are success stories I can support. In fact, even using the word success here is a misnomer because I don't equate money or notoriety with success, but for the sake of argument we will just say success.

I am talking about that success that defies logic. I am talking about being famous for being famous success. I am talking about cheesy reality t.v. star success. I am talking about the kind of success portrayed by an annoying little twenty year old pop singer who has no clue and assaults limo drivers and eggs houses and drives drunk and high. And finally (the reason for my rant) I am talking about the stupid product success like pet rocks or whatever those rubber band bracelet craze thingamajig was.

I was browsing the internet today, just to see what I wasn't going to buy, which is the modern day form of window shopping. I came upon this product which was described as a "Double-sided wet wipe is shaped like a mitten." and then I saw the name of the product...Shittens™ .  I thought I was being pranked. And then it occurred to me that the guy who created this and markets this, probably makes more money then me. That is when I got sad.

Most of the time even the craziest or cheesiest products will get the benefit of the doubt from me. I don't even cast dispersions on the usual suspects that are the butt of all the jokes, like clappers and chia pets and such. But come on now. This? I think the mitten would have to extend up to my elbow because it is getting pretty deep out there on the internet. Of course for every thing I think is utterly ridiculous, there is some person out there, probably a dad that is changing a diaper blow out, that thinks the idea pure genius. I am going to go  listen to Dire Straits "Money For Nothing" just because that is the mood I am in today.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

P.S. For those interested in some funny reviews...

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