Monday, June 30, 2014


To my son Tommy,

Well your mom made it through the initial dose of Remicade with only minor side effects. It wiped out her energy for the following two days but we often had that going on without the new treatment. She complained about some bone pain but she thinks that was psychosomatic because she worked herself up about the upcoming treatment. Unfortunately, we are not out of the woods yet. I keep going back to one of the nurses comments that it takes three doses before basically all results are in.

Her next dose is two weeks from the first dose, which puts it on the day before her birthday. If this first dose was any indication of what to expect, her birthday present might very well include a whole bunch of nothing. No kid, no hubby, no real clothes, no getting out of bed. We will probably give a morning hug and birthday card followed by a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday from a five year old ham, then set her up with an ipad and a tv remote and various snacks and perhaps a sushi delivery, and then get out of Dodge. Maybe around 8pm we will return and set you two up for some cuddle time watching a movie upstairs and then off to bed with you.

It seems counter-intuitive but sometimes being there for someone means not being there. There are things in this world that we all have to go through that are best done solo. It is not going through it alone, as your mother knows we are there for her even when we aren't in the house. But by not being in the house, we allow her to rest and focus on herself without having to worry about us and without any guilt about sleeping. Besides, no matter how hard we try to be quiet and not disturb her, we have never been completely successful.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

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