Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Wisdom Of A Husband

To my son Tommy,

I would say on a man's scale of 1 to 100, I fair about a 75 on the husbandly wisdom scale and that number is (hopefully) constantly growing.  That 75 is probably good enough to impress most men who use the same universal scale.  However my number doesn't change when put to your mother's scale.

Women have their own scale when it comes to husbandly things, and that scale isn't even universal from woman to woman, and perhaps even task to task and situation to situation.  Your mother uses a scale that probably ranges from 1 to 200 or 300, but I have seen certain women who use a scale up to 1000 or higher.  And yet the score never changes no matter if you use the man scale or the woman scale.  I only bring this up because the anecdote I am about to relay will only impress some men with my above average thoughtfulness and most women will consider my actions common sense and wonder why it is newsworthy.  Thus the difference of the sexes remain and I offer no solution.  It is the way of the world and there is little you can do about it, so I have learned to accept it.

Last night, we got home from the holiday hoopla and everyone was drained.  You had to really twist her arm and bully her into it (can you smell the sarcasm), but your mother and you had settled on the couch for some cuddle time.  I had plopped my big behind behind the computer monitor to blog.  I think I have mentioned before that my blogging is usually free form train of thought and rarely takes too much time.  As I was more than halfway done, I heard the low rumbling of some serious zee sawing coming from the couch.  You and your mom were off in dream land dancing with sugar plum faeries.  I finished my computer time and regarded the scene on the couch.

After watching and soaking in the vision of mother and child, while trying to separate it out from a rather unmatching sound like a chainsaw, I realized I was at a crossroads.  Every manly instinct in my body screamed "Let them be" and "Don't you dare put an end to it" as my gut reaction was to distribute one kiss per forehead and off to bed I go.  Your mother has trouble getting to sleep so if she is getting quality snooze time, why screw it up?  This is where I also realized how much I have grown (or been trained up) as a husband.

I went over and gently woke your mother to give her the opportunity to decide.  Did she want me to take you up?  Was she going to sleep down here?  After taking you up to bed, your mom soon joined me upstairs to hit the hay.  I admitted to her that I considered leaving her and you sleep but only didn't because I figured she would wake up upset.  She confirmed that I had made the correct choice and I could feel my number growing from 75 to 75.01.

Just a caveat, it is not the action that made me grow.  For each woman there is a different correct choice and what works for one is totally wrong for another.  The reason that my husbandly wisdom level went up is because I knew the right choice for your mother, my wife.  Both your grandfathers have given me advice to try to increase my husband score and they have both warned me that it will only get worse.  Perhaps some day I will get to 100 which I will think is the epitome of being a husband and your mother will think "Hey he gets it right half the time" which is about the best any man can hope for.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

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