Thursday, October 25, 2012

Secret To Marriage: The Blankets

To my son Tommy,

There are many things that a person can attribute a good marriage to.  There are big things like love, openness, communication, to small things like hobbies, liking the same sport teams, or enjoying holding hands.  Book upon book upon book have been written trying to explain the differences between man and woman and how to have a good happy harmonious marriage.

I do not pretend to be an expert, especially if you ask your mother, but I have learned a few tricks here and there.  This is one small almost insignificant trick that not only will help you have a harmonious marriage but is actually being scientifically studied by sleep therapy doctors who believe it helps you get a better sleep.  Being well rested, in turn, also helps with a good marriage.  I am of course talking about separate blankets!

There is a misconception that a good husband and wife team can easily share the same blanket without any problems.  I blame 50s sitcoms and romantic comedies for perpetuating this illusion.  Or perhaps it stems from those young lustful days where you could share a one person sleeping bag no problem, but then again slumber was not the foremost reason for sharing a one person sleeping bag.  Trust me when I say separate blankets are the way to go.

It is ridiculous to think that you have to find someone completely compatible with your body temp and sleeping habits.  It is hard enough finding your soul mate with out throwing on extra qualifications like "Do you use a heavy blanket or light?".  Then, if you stick with the one blanket theory, you have to deal with size of blanket, or rolling, and someone always ends up losing the blanket war.  Besides avoiding the nightly blanket war, there are other advantages of separate blankets.  If I get hot, off it goes and your mother can stay snuggled.  If your mother or I have to get up throughout the night, less chance of waking the other and you avoid all that guilt.  It can be quite liberating.

The common arguments against two blankies are; does not promote cuddling, extra wash, not conducive if you like to make your bed.  As far as the cuddling thing goes, blankets have this great invention called edges.  You slip your hand out the edge of your blanket and under the edge of her blanket and then you pull your body as close as you can.  The blankets overlap and Voila!  You have essential made two blankets into one, but with the bonus of being able to reverse the process if the need arises at a later time in the night.  For more amorous moments, well your little ears aren't ready for that, but lets just say blankets tend to get in the way and are thrown to the floor anyhow.  As for more wash and the bed making argument, they do have points there.  But the little extra effort of washing another blanket, or switching from two blankets to one for bed making and back again for sleeping,  trust me it is worth it.

So as you grow up and find your soul mate and get married and begin sharing a bed, (as a good Catholic father I will stick to this timeline of events but don't mistake wishful thinking for naivety) take the time to gently approach the subject and say to your wife "I have been thinking, and I know this is sort of a European idea, but I want to try something new and adventurous in bed!  What do you think of each of us having our own blanket!"  Okay, perhaps you want to rephrase that because if she doesn't get the Downey humor that might result with you getting your own blanket and a separate place to sleep like the living room couch.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

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