Knew It Was Coming

To my son Tommy,

Your mother wears glasses. I wear glasses. My parents wear and always wore glasses. All your aunts wear glasses and your Uncle Raymond had LASIK surgery but used to wear glasses. So on your five year well kid check up, it was no surprise that you failed your vision test at the doctor visit and they referred us to an opthamologist for a full exam. But it looks like I will able to call you four eyes soon. Of course you can turn around and do the same to me.

I am actually glad that your vision problem was caught this early. I didn't learn I needed glasses until high school. I was always a front of the classroom type of kid before high school. One class put me in the back of the room. The teacher would write notes on the board that we were supposed to rewrite in our notebooks. I was having difficulty making out the words on the board so I was copying from someone next to me. I still am not sure how I got in trouble for copying notes from the guy next to me instead of copying them directly from the board. They were the same words no matter the source and I probably got in trouble for pointing out the stupidity in the chiding. Anyway,  I ended up before the assistant dean of students with my father on his way. When your Grandpa Leo arrived, still in his Major Downey persona with brim of his hat two fingers above the brow and a look to match, he told the guy how stupid it was that I was getting in trouble for copying notes that  I was supposed to be copying anyhow. I think they had trouble stopping him from going down and giving the teacher a piece of his mind too. They decided to throw me out of school for the rest of the day. When we got out into the car he asked me why I was copying off the guy next to me. He drove direct to the eye doctor when I told him of my difficulty seeing. Not knowing what clear vision was before that point, it was quite the change and I was looking at the world with new eyes. When all was said and done, he drove me back wearing my new glasses and told me to go to class and he would go take care of me being thrown out of school for the day. I am sure he "politely thanked" the school for finding this problem and the way they patiently handled it. I just know I was supposed to receive a demerit and a Saturday detention for being kicked out for a day and for some reason that never materialized.

Anyways, soon you will start a familiar path of young kid wearing glasses. You will break a pair or two, lose a pair or two, complain about them, you will go for designer frames when you get older and start noticing girls more, you will switch to contacts when you mistaking lay believe the glasses are ruining your chances with the girls, etc etc. Luckily I have been there and done all that and more. And your Grandpa Leo gave me a great example of how to deal with all of those types of situations. Same recipe he used for most situations with me, patience and love and forgiveness and more love.

Sincerely with love from your four eyed dad,

Leo