A Bad Guy

To my son Tommy,

The phrase "Because I don't think you're a bad guy" should be eliminated from most conversations.  Your mother was watching some Dr.Phil episode that was about a guy who beat his significant other among other things.  I am not sure if she was his wife or girlfriend, but she is the mother of his child.  This guy has beat her, strangled her, cheated on her, abused her mentally, abused her physically, etc etc etc. and yet Dr.Phil says "I don't think you're a bad guy".  Usually I try not to watch such things on TV because I believe they are exploiting other people's problem.  This time I could not help but to almost yell at the screen, "If you don't think he is a bad guy, then what is your definition?"

Your actions define you, and if you do such evil things, then you are a bad person.  Are you beyond help?  Are you beyond change?  Are you beyond forgiveness?  I try to hold the belief that all things are possible and no one is a lost cause, but in this case, you have to call it like it is.  You can't sugar coat when people do something wrong with little trite phrases like "You are not a bad guy".  It is an empty phrase, because anyone who says this is usually insinuating the exact opposite.  It will be your job to recognize such atrocities and to stand up and speak the truth about such acts and not meet them with empty phrases.  In today's world, filled with school shootings and domestic abuse and a large variety of evils, it is necessary to have good people in this world to champion what is right and good with this world.  I hope to have raised you into a man willing to do just that.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo