Wanna Come See?

To my son Tommy,

I was home from work after a typical work day and playing on the computer.  You were off playing with some cars in the living room.  Your mother was up taking a nap after her pre-class nursing class today.  I heard you mumble something about going potty and saw a streak of light as you ran to to the bathroom.  I continued playing on the computer and a couple minutes later I heard,  "I made a big poopie! Daddy?  You wanna come see?".  Ahh the joys of fatherhood.  I got up under the pretense of doing my fatherly duty, though I have to admit I was curious as to what size would make you so proud.  I never really got to see because the smell started burning my retinas and I just decided to flush it and be done.

I am not sure why children, especially little boys, are so proud of their bowel movements.  The sad thing is many don't grow out of this phase.  What makes someone so proud of a big poo?  Many learn to stop announcing it and stop pointing out that they are full of crap.  Of course I know those that just evolved to a different media and seem to have found an outlet in their social media updates.  I am convinced by what some people write on their facebook posts, that if we lived in the same house they would call me in to look at a bowl ringer.  And the fact that I actually read some of the garbage they write has convinced me that I would actually get up and go look.

So as you get older and one day you find yourself with a BM that you are particularly proud of,  internalize the pride.  You can be proud you got through such crap, but you really won't impress anyone with bragging about it.  Just flush it.  And as you get older avoid pointing out to the rest of the world over the internet or any other media, that you are as full of crap as your old man.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo