The Big Pill Box

To my son Tommy,

Today I saw marriage through so many eyes and perspectives.

It started with Mass today where a couple renewed their vows and received a blessing from the priest on their 50th anniversary.  What a great testimony!  Add to that being able to look down the row and see my parents and your mommy's parents sitting right there together.  Great examples of marriage surrounded me and you would think I would get the idea through my thick head right away.  Not a chance.

The day continued with me and your mother working on our communication and marriage skills.  If you fail to do something successfully, does that count as working on it?  I think so, if you learn from the experience.  Your mother was feeling frustrated with not being able to help with some tasks we needed to get done.  And her good intentions to try to assist were making me feel micro managed and a bit unappreciated.  After all I had accomplished most everything I had to for the past week or so and you somehow survived.  With a little soul searching and a big reminder from your Grandpa Leo that this is what marriage is all about, I realized I was being selfish and stupid.  Your Grandpa Leo also reminded me that most marriage disputes end with the man realizing this, or they never end.  You can either be right or married.

Later, after the chores were done, we as a family hit a couple drugstores to get the rest of your mom's script and find the perfect pill box to make it easy for your mom to take her medicines properly.  As your mom said, she needed a box you could play monopoly with.  Nothing says love like perusing the medical aid device sections of pharmacies.  Though men logic would have just made your mom make do with a smaller version of the pill box and eliminate the extra store, I had learned a few things since this morning.  Our quest for the large pillbox now meant much more than an extra trip to another store.

Then I came home and decided to peruse the social media outlets online.  A well respected friend of mine posted a line saying that "Marriage isn't for me either" with a link to a blog.  At first it worried me but then I read the blog post associated with the shared link.  I was greeted with a well written post that was summed up nicely in the last sentence which read, "Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others."

Some would say it is coincidence, some would say I am just inferring meaning from random generalizations (like reading a horoscope or fortune cookie) but it sure seems to me Someone out there is trying to get the message through to me.  Life is not about self; Love is not about self.  The faster you realize that, the better off you will be.  And even if you had realized it before, sometimes we can always use a reminder.

Sincerely with love from your dad,
Leo