Friday, January 24, 2014

Another Nightmare

To my son Tommy,

You had another nightmare last night.  This time it was personal.  When I came in to check on you, you asked me if I had my right head on.  Later in the morning I got you to elaborate.  Evidently in your nightmare I had an evil face or head on and I grabbed your neck and your mom's neck in the dream.  I got you to elaborate and now wish I hadn't.  I am not sure how to take that and find myself upset by my presence as the bad guy in your dream.  Am I the evil sheep from your dream the other night?  Am I a wolf in sheep's clothing?  I guess for most it would be easy to shake this off as a crazy dream of a toddler, but for you to ever see me in that light is upsetting.  Even though it was just your dream, I feel almost obligated to say that something like this would never happen and nothing surpasses my love for you and your mom.  I need you to know that, and know that deep in your heart.  Still the whole thing is upsetting and I wonder why you see me as some Jekyll and Hyde.  Just like that book was an examination of the duality of humanity, this whole nightmare thing has really started my examining my own dichotomy.  My only answer comes from a story that I have been told comes from the fine people of the Cherokee nation.
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
I am fed by the love I feel from my family and my God, so the good wolf is certainly winning the battle.  Here is hoping you have some better dreams.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

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