Saturday, January 4, 2014

Inclement Weather And Dark Moments

To my son Tommy,

For some reason I woke up at 3 am last night (or technically this morning).  Even though you were one room over and your mother was laying next to me, I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness.  I didn't dare reach to your mother for comfort I because I did not want to risk a stray touch on her wound that would cause her pain.  Plus, she had just had staples and drains removed and for the first time in a long time seemed to really be enjoying sleep.  

The whole situation was a weird sense that defied logic.  I felt like I should go to church.  The thought came to me to do just that, as it was the first Friday of the month and Eucharistic adoration usually goes all night.  As fast as that thought came into my mind, I remembered the post I saw on the church's social media page stating, "First Friday Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament is cancelled tonight and Saturday morning in accord with our Parish's inclement weather policy."  This was the first time in my life that ice and snow had kept me from church when I wanted to go.  I felt even more alone.  I turned to prayer and said prayer after prayer.  As I laid in bed, I silently prayed the traditional prayers, I prayed freeform prayers, I probably even incoherently babbled through a few prayers in my mind.  I am not sure how long this went on but it felt like hours.  In one of my last prayers, before I could finally get back to sleep, I asked God to let me know I am not alone in this great big world.  At that very moment your mom woke slightly, reached out and rubbed and scratched my back and asked me if I was alright.

There are times in your life when you will feel alone.  It can overwhelm you and strike when you are awake or asleep, no matter how many people are around you, nor how illogical it may seem.  Remember you are never really alone, and you must find your way through these darker moments.   Ask for help and that comforting touch will come, not only in the form of a rub on the back from a loved one, but also a much deeper touch to your heart and soul.

Sincerely with love from your dad,

No comments:

Post a Comment